You'd be forgiven for thinking the Sacramento Kings might fade from the headlines after trading mercurial star DeMarcus Cousins to the New Orleans Pelicans. The Kings are expected to tank in order to keep their first-round pick, so a lot of NBA fans have written them off for the rest of this year.
But hold on one second! What if I told you that Kosta Koufos—a member of the Kings' starting lineup and a beneficiary of Cousins' departure—was implicated in an underwear-stealing scandal? Would you even believe it?
New Kings player Buddy Hield found out the hard way that this is a real phenomenon. Hield already had a lot on his plate, having to move across the country on short notice and join a totally new team. According to Kings reporters, a case of missing undies briefly thinned an already sparse wardrobe in his new city:
On first glance this would have been nothing more than a bit of rookie hazing, but apparently this isn't the first panty raid conducted in the Kings' locker room:
It's pretty strange even by rookie hazing standards, but the longevity of this stunt really takes it up a notch. The identity of the thief was a mystery at first, but Hield was eventually able to tie the crime to Koufos. Given the chance to share this tragic story with reporters, Hield revealed the most absurd part of this mess -- he's not yet able to even pronounce the name of the guy who is going through his delicates and holding them hostage:
Hield can find solidarity with his new teammates, since he's not the only Kings player to be victimized by Koufos, but that doesn't exactly help clear up the strangeness or the motive behind the repeated larceny. Koufos is in a locker room with a gaggle of millionaires, and could surely freak teammates out by stealing some nice jewelry, or altering the prank so it somehow did not involve underwear.
At least this story has a happy ending. The missing pair was eventually returned to Hield, and he'll be able to avoid going commando for the time being. But by the sound of things, he'd better watch his locker closely as long as Koufos remains in Sacramento.