Secure your spot while tickets last!
The nation is finally done waiting in anticipation—the Finals begin tonight. It was a long week. Maybe you can't wait to watch Steph versus LeBron. Maybe you want to see if Cleveland can claim it's first title in more than 50 years. Maybe you just like basketball. I don't know. We've never met. If any of those are the case then you don't need additional motivation to tune in for the next couple of weeks.
But for everyone else, there's betting. Betting spices up any otherwise dull event. Scientific fact. It adds zest to any and every mundane occasion. It's the sole reason horse racing exists. It's the sole reason casinos exist. There's a reason people get hooked on it, and while it's one thing to make a gentlemen's agreement with a family friend, it's another thing entirely to plaster your arrogance for the public to witness. It entertains us when people make braggadocious boasts and back them up (see: Namath, Joe), but it entertains us more to see people make braggadocious boasts and then fall flat on their faces (see: That one guy on West Virginia who said they'd beat Kentucky, anybody with an incorrect "champions" tattoo).
Now odds are most of the following people are kidding, but that's some weak shit. We say you should make claims and stand by them. Be a (wo)man who walks the walk. Remember: Tweeting random jokes is legally binding (we think). So if you know any of these people, make sure they stay true to their word. Being a puss is a way worse fate in life than having to empty your bank account for re-tweeters or eating a nearly two-decade-old candy bar that'll almost certainly kill you.
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