If you read Complex frequently, then you'd probably think that if we're talking about NASCAR it must involve some crazy shit. You'd be right. That being said, this story would qualify as "crazy shit" by every measure, as driver Kurt Busch testified Tuesday that his ex-girlfriend, Patricia Driscoll, was a trained assassin sent on covert missions across the globe. Busch stated that one time she even returned home in a gown splattered in blood hidden beneath a trench coat.

Busch told his lawyer Rusty Hardin (who's an 'o' away from the most ridiculous name ever) that "everybody on the outside can tell me I'm crazy, but I lived on the inside and saw it firsthand."

For her part, Driscoll called Busch's tale "ludicrous," which is exactly what an assassin would say (unfortunately, it's also exactly what a non-assassin would say). She elaborated by saying that the driver's story was taken from a screenplay she'd be writing for the past eight years that Busch had previously proofread.

Speaking of screenplays, Busch says that Driscoll told him a character in the movie Zero Dark Thirty was a composite of her and another woman. This is in addition to what he said yesterday in court, which is that Driscoll told him she was a trained mercenary even providing Busch with photographic evidence of bodies riddled with gunshot wounds.

Last month the couple's personal assistant Michael Doncheff testified that this past September an unwell Driscoll told him that she was injured by a "big man" who slammed her to the ground while she was allegedly "helping round up immigrants at the Mexican border." Earlier she had told Doncheff that she was a killer trained by the U.S. government who said "I take down foreign governments. I own Washington."

Driscoll said that Busch's bizarre story is an "attempt to destroy my credibility," adding that even Busch's own lawyer doesn't believe any of what he's saying.

If you're wondering why the couple was in court it's because of a request by Driscoll for a restraining order (which is not how we'd expect an assassin to behave). A ruling for that order is expected within the next couple of weeks.

[via ESPN]

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