10 Tips For Living Out of Your Car

So, you’ve hit rock bottom. You did something, whether it be sleeping with your girlfriend’s sister or betting on the wrong pony, that compelled you to ask the post office to forward your mail to your automobile. There’s nothing to be ashamed of: Jim Carrey and Colonel Sanders have lived out of their cars and lived to tell the tale. Though you might have a future as a rubber face or a chicken peddler, right now you're living in a van down by the river. It's going to be tempting to put all of your energies toward getting yourself back on a lease, but right now you need to focus on making your automotive living situation bearable. You might be living on four wheels for a while, so you’d best make that journey as comfortable as possible. We’re here to help. That's right, the lonesome vagabonds here at Complex Rides are here to give you 10 Tips For Living Out of Your Car.

If you still have any valuables, such as a used engagement ring or pearl-handled hand gun, find someplace to keep them. If your car gets broken into, not only will you lose those items, but your most valuable possession might end up with a shattered window or a dented door. If you have a friend you can bring yourself to tell about your situation, see if you can keep some gear in his or her attic or garage. If you don't have anybody, a cheap storage space might be a good option. Maybe a safe deposit box at the bank will do if you've only got a shoebox full of valuables to your name. If you have to keep your treasures in the car, hide them as best you can, and keep them on your person when you step away from your vehicle.

The best possible way to live out of your car is to live out of your car as little as possible. Odds are that you're already going to be pretty depressed, and the best way to make things worse is to keep yourself in cramped quarters. There are plenty of places you can hang out for free, like the library, the park, or your local Starbucks. You can even develop a daily routine, beginning with checking your email at the Apple Store and ending discretely polishing off half-finished brews at your favorite bar. There will be days where you wake up and don't feel like doing anything but staying in your vehicle and feeling sorry for yourself. Every day you spend doing that is a day you can count on waking up to the same thing the next morning.

One (and really perhaps the only) benefit of living out of your car is that you get to pick your view. Yes sir, while most working stiffs have one permanent view chosen by the construction crew that laid the foundation, you can seek out a different view any time your gas tank allows. Your impulse might be to drive to a secluded glade or the breathtaking coastline. Remember that this is also the natural inclination of serial killers. The police don't need another dead vagrant to ignore, so do everyone a favor and park somewhere that someone wouldn't likely hear you scream. We're not saying you have to take up residence in the mall parking lot, but at least pick a place where they would find your body before it bloated and turned blue.

You aren't going to have much cash if any during this tough time in your life. We understand that. However, if you can afford it, you should try to pay the meter maid when she comes a-callin'. Since your entire life will be parking, you are probably going to rack up a ticket or two. Even in more forgiving burgs, those things add up fast. Before you know it, the crafty parking authority has come in under cover of night and booted your car. The one thing you had, mobility, is now taken from you. At that point, society has taken every last thing they can from you unless you checked "yes" on that organ donor box last time you visited the DMV.

One of the biggest mistakes people make when they're down and out is doing nothing outside of looking for work. Even the best candidate in the world isn't going to line up twelve hours worth of job interviews on a daily basis. You should spend a good chunk of time looking for work every day, but you should occupy your time with other things as well. Those "other things" should include more than pleasuring yourself to discarded Victoria's Secret Magazines or hollering at the private school girls as they head home from the bus stop. There are tons of hobbies available to you free of charge; it doesn't cost anything to go jogging, read a book, or learn a language. Keeping yourself out of depression and despair is a mental game, and the only way to win is to fill your days with productivity from sun up to sun down.

Cooking in your car while you live there might sound like a pain in the ass, but even if you order off of the value menu, those prices are going to add up. Before you take up residence in your sedan, you'll want to get a portable stove or oven to plug into your car. It might seem like a hefty investment, but you'll save what you spent on it after only a few weeks. Some car chefs go as far as to pick up an inverter and an accompanying low voltage cut out device to facilitate heavy-duty cooking. If you've got the extra cash, spend some time researching the best car cooking options for you. Your waistline and wallet will be grateful.

"This too shall pass." It isn't going to be easy to stay positive while you're living out of your car. If you thought your college dorm room or crashing on your buddy's couch was depressing, get ready because you ain't seen nothing yet. Remember as you climb into the driver's seat for your long stay that many people have gone from much worse situations to much better situations. Try to enjoy each day, stick to a routine, and be thankful when a good thing does come your way. Feeling sorry for yourself and succumbing to bitterness will do nothing for you except extend your stay in the Motel Stick Shift. Stay positive, stay confident, and know that once you get through this, you'll have a great story.