Image via Complex Original
During the years of Machine Gun Kelly's homegrown come up, he didn't have a tour bus. He had small Toyotas or shitty vans without air conditioning that would haul him and his crew across the country to small shows, as he slowly built up his dedicated fan base. That's all changed over the past year, as his single "Wild Boy" vaulted him onto the national stage and into a record deal with Diddy and Bad Boy Records. The past six months have been jam packed with his first full tours, starting with Tech N9ne, then going on Warped Tour, and most recently returning from the MGK-proclaimed Raging Abroad Tour.
Although his upcoming tour with Maybach Music, which is coupled with his Oct. 9th release of his debut album Lace Up, will be the first that he's actually making money from, the memories he's made with his loyal crew and thirsty fans along his journey have no monetary value. Living up to his Wild Boy image, MGK held nothing back when he spoke to us about some of the most ridiculous things that have occurred on his tour bus. We're talking porn stars, cocaine, theft, and pissing on people. Check out Machine Gun Kelly's 10 Wildest Tour Bus Stories.
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As told to Tony Markovich (@T_Marko)
Jiggly Puff
"There was a six-person orgy going on one time. I wasn’t involved in this. I ended up getting out the camera and opening the door, and we were taking pictures every time we opened the door. There were three of my dudes and three girls, and this one girl was extremely huge. We kept calling her 'The Whale.' I’m talkin' a good 200 pounds, like some ill shit. She looked like Jiggly Puff. She was the real life Jiggly Puff. So, every time I opened the door, Jiggly Puff and all the girls were playing musical chairs with dicks. Every time, somebody else would be fuckin’ the whale, and the other people would be fuckin’ the other girls. They would switch."
Why weren’t you involved?
"I read Moby Dick, man, I don’t fuck with whales."
Smoke Team Unite
"One time on the Tech N9ne tour, we had to cross the border to go into Mexico, but we completely forgot about it. So, we had copped a fuckload of weed. So, we found out at like 10 p.m. after the show, and we panicked. We were like, 'yo, we just bought all this weed, it’s going to go to waste, we’re going to have to throw it away.' So, we said, 'fuck it,' and rolled it all up. It was probably about 20-plus Js. We gathered up all the crew, all the staff, anybody that smoked, but there weren’t many of us. They had the same problem, so they rolled theirs up, too. We put all of our Js up in the air and were like, 'Smoke Team unite," and just puffed our asses off. I don’t think we woke up for like two days. We had to get up for the shows, but we were still asleep. The other ill shit was that our driver was fucking smoking weed, man. So that shit was so sketchy, dude."
Shitty
"I got shit on in the bus. Just a little bit. I had this one girl that I was texting and we were really looking forward to anal. I stuck it in there and was doing my thing, and I started pounding it really hard. So, I pulled out and there was brown shit on the tip of my dick. Obviously, I had a condom on, but it was extremely gross. Shit really bothers me. I kept going, and was just disgusted after, but I had to get my nut off."
Cocaine Off the Spider Nipple
"We were in Switzerland. This girl was in my bathroom on the bus, and I was walking by the door and I heard sniff, sniff. I was like, this bitch was not sick earlier when she came in, so she’s not sniffling. So, I knocked on the door, and was like, 'are you doing blow in my bathroom?' She’s like, 'no, no,' and she came out and we ended up crackin’ her. She was on some wild shit. Long story short, I ended up putting on a ski mask, we got out the camera and we filmed her doing lines of cocaine off my nipple, because I have a spider tattoo. Then after that, she took us to this bar, and she gave us these shots that she lit on fire and after you drink them, you turn the cup upside down, put a straw in there, and suck the burnt alcohol out of it. It was good. It got you really fucked up."
Swerve
"One time we straight up stole our bus. Our driver smokes weed and was a fucking retard, so we could do anything and he wouldn’t wake up. So, one night, it was the last day of the Warped Tour. We were like, 'fuck it,' and we took it wherever we wanted to. My dude Jermaine was driving, but we’ve all driven it. We killed it. We were swervin’. That’s probably where Big Sean got his adlib from. We took it to some grassy field, nothin’ crazy, but we weren’t feeling too crazy that night."
Disrespect
"One time there was this chick that came on the bus and was super disrespectful to the homies, so my dude stood up on the seat behind her and pee'd on the back of her shoe. Shit got hectic when she found out what happened [laughs]."
Pliers and Bugee Cords
"The main tour bus door broke one time, and it was hanging off the hinges, and the only thing that was holding it up was a bungee cord. We just broke it on some drunk shit and it was like that for the entire tour. Everyday you couldn’t open it past this small-ass crack, or else the door would come off the hinges. So, we were squeezing in and out the door. Then we got the door fixed, and the actual handle broke, so we had to use a fucking pair of pliers. We permanently attached pliers to the little latch."
Tour Bus Assist
"This one time we were in Dallas, TX, and Rachel Starr the pornstar came to the show. I invited her, and after the show, I told her that I was really horny. So, she went and got me some girls and brought them back to the bus. She was on some straight-up girl on girl shit, like slappin’ bitches asses, makin’ them put it in my face. She got me laid that night. That was a straight assist right there. I think that was the most epic tour bus assist."
The Poop Aquarium
"The first time experiencing when somebody shit on the bus was some nasty shit. I was in my bunk, which was right behind the tour bus bathroom, and this guy had come on. It was the first time we’d ever been on a bus, and it was for a promo for Project X. They had booked artists like me and Pusha T. So, one of the executive guys from Project X was on our bus that they got us, and I don’t think he knew about the rule. I was in my bunk and started smelling this funky ass smell. I was like, 'fuck.' You can’t do that, because it ended up engulfing everybody. We were stuck with that shit for 15 hours, because we had to get where we needed to go. We were in a fish tank of poop. It was a poop aquarium. Then another time one of my friends took a shit in the bus and got fined $250, because they had to clean it up."
Actions Speak Louder Than Words
"I was sick this one day on Warped Tour. At Warped Tour you can’t really shower that much, so there wasn’t a lot of sex going on, because we were just so dirty. And the people were dirty as fuck, because you’re out there for 12 hours in the heat and shit. But my dudes woke me up this one morning at noon with some fan that they had grabbed from the line before they opened the gates. She came in the back to my bunk when I was sick, didn’t say anything, just whipped my dick out, sucked it and fucked it. She just did it and left, not a single word. She didn’t say anything. I guess my man Bobby Dash and Dre had hooked it up and told her to go make me feel better. I was so fucked up and so surprised and she was so hot that I didn’t even know what was going on. I was in dream state, like there’s no way this can be real."
