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Sneakerheads can get a little obsessive. Whether you're watching eBay auctions late into the night or trash-talking on Twitter all day, sneakers seem to steal from that ever-important "us time" with your lady. Don't trip though, it's never too late to make up for your miscues. All you need to do to get your relationship back into "bow chicka wow wow" status is pay a little more attention. Here's 10 Signs Your Sneaker Habit Is Affecting Your Relationship to help you avoid being kicked to the curb.
The Only Photos You Have Of Her On Instagram Are Of Her Feet
Not only are the only photos of her feet, but only when she just happens to be wearing the same shoes as you. And little do you know, but the next time you ask her to wear the cements she's gonna look into getting you a pair of size 12 Louboutins — and not the spiked ones, either.
She Doesn't Like The Ring
You thought you were ready to take things to the next level but the sneaker ring you popped the question with had no shine. Not to mention you didn't even get down on bended knee because you didn't want to crease your kicks. Good luck making up for it, even with 6 rings, you're probably not getting any for a while, champ.
The BFF Is Hating On Your Kicks
You thought you were in good with the friends and family but your lady's BFF (and parents, most likely) still won't give the OK on wearing sneakers to the wedding. Sadly your girl is following suit and asking for more "traditional" shoes. Damn. Is this the dealbreaker?
She's Taking Pictures of Pets In Your Shoeboxes
You caved in and got that cuddly kitten or puppy for your lady last Valentine's Day and now she keeps sending you pics of it in your sneaker boxes. But you just started to notice that it seems to be a different box every day and you're not the type to leave your kicks out. So where are all those empty boxes coming from? Peep the next slide, bro.
She's Got You Dumpster Diving
Hell has no fury like a woman scorned. That classic romantic move of trailing rose petals to the bedroom seemed like too much work, but now your girl has you thinking differently after leading you out of your apartment with shoelaces lining the stairwell. You finally come to the end, only to find her dumping your kicks straight into the dumpster. A sure sign it's time to step your romance game up, Mr. Don Juan.
Your Girl Is Tired of Lining Up For Sneakers
She was cool with it the first time but every time since, camping out for hours for sneakers in YOUR size, is finally getting to her. In fact, this past weekend, she straight slept through the entire release while in line. By the time she woke up your size was long gone so she copped a pair for herself. Her only explanation to you when she came home? "But I got them Js though!"
These Grails Are On Fire
She's been listening to a lot of Alicia Keys lately but you missed the signs that she was singing loudly to "Girl on Fire" over and over again. Now you're finally realizing she was singing "Grail on Fire" and it only set you back a pair of TIffs. You best head to the real Tiff's and make up for it if you want to smooth this one over.
There's Parental Controls On Your Computer...
...and y'all don't have kids. Your girl kept telling you she was getting tired of all the sneaker talk, but she finally hit her limit. Today you and the homies were about to check out the latest haps, only to find ISS, NikeTalk and eBay blocked by parental controls. Yep, she got you, man. But hey, the password is probably f*@ksneakers, so you shouldn't be out of the loop too long.
Your Girl Is On Niketalk...Nearly Naked
You've been so busy staying up on Air Jordan release dates that your girl hasn't been gettin' the lovin' she needs. To seduce you, she went and got the Nike Swoosh tatted on herself and posted pics on NT hoping to get your attention. And of course the first thing you thought when you saw it was "wait, she got Last Shots?"
You Worry About Smashing When You're Smashing
You've squeezed sneakers everywhere you can, so you've of course slid some of your grails under the bed to make room for new pickups. But now, every time you and your girl get it on, you worry about smashing your beloved sneaker boxes. It's only a matter of time before "don't want anyone to hear the squeaky bed" excuse stops working.
