Image via Complex Original
Body of Work: Jessica Alba's Hottest Roles
The world has a lot of hot Jessicas—see Exhibits A, B, C, and D—but our favorite has got to be the California-born and bred Jessica Alba. We've always had a thing for a girl with a perfect body and a racially ambiguous face, so the 29-year old MILF has been a mainstay in our daydreams since her TV days in Dark Angel. Jessica's back in theaters this Friday in the thriller The Killer Inside Me. Yes, she plays a prostitute! No, she doesn't get naked. But, we'll probably go and watch with our fingers crossed and our jacket over our pants anyway. In preparation for what we'll be watching this weekend, let's take a look at Jessica Alba's hottest movie roles...
HONEY (2003)
Character: Honey Daniels
Nude? No
Complex says: We never understood why she's always cast as generic blonde characters, because playing a character like Honey was the best thing that ever happened to bad movies. We're not sure when "Jessica Alba not looking as sexy as possible" became a thing white people like, but those folks need to chill.
SIN CITY (2005)
Character: Nancy Callahan
Nude? No
Complex says: Faithful adaptation of a beloved comic classic x beautiful women cast as said comic's leading ladies (ezzpecially Alba as cowgirl stripper Nancy Callahan) = mega fanboy boners.
INTO THE BLUE (2005)
Character: Sam
Nude? No
Complex says: The plot of Into the Blue: Sunken treasure, sunken cocaine, blahblahblah, JESSICA ALBA IN A BIKINI, blahblahblah, "Do we sell the coke?", "Gee honey I don't know," JESSICA ALBA IN A BIKINI, bad guys, blahblahblah, JESSICA ALBA IN A BIKINI, shark bite, the end. Or something like that.
GOOD LUCK CHUCK (2007)
Character: Cam
Nude? No
Complex says: Normally we don't advocate actresses not going nude in movies, but we'll make an exception here because the idea of fucktard supreme Dane Cook seeing Jessica naked makes us want to slit our eyeballs.
THE EYE (2008)
Character: Sydney Wells
Nude? No
Complex says: Sydney Wells is blind, so she borrows someone else's eyeballs and starts seeing dead people. Wish we could borrow someone's eyeballs to start seeing Jessica Alba naked in movies. How has no director gotten her nude yet?!
THE LOVE GURU (2008)
Character: Jane Bullard
Nude? No
Complex says: Jessica Alba and Meagan Good in one movie? We'll sit through Mike Myers' fake Indian accent for this one.
FANTASTIC FOUR (2005)
Character: Sue Storm
Nude? No
Complex says: Blonde hair? Blue eyes? Sister to Chris Evans' character? We don't really understand the mind of whoever cast this action flick but we'll let it slide since it's a combination of two things we like: hot girls and comic books.
VALENTINE'S DAY (2010)
Character: Morley Clarkson
Nude? No
Complex says: Valentine's Day is probably the worst rom-com we've ever seen, but watching Jessica Alba's sexy character dump punk'd ass Ashton Kutcher was satisfying. Spoiler!
THE KILLER INSIDE ME (2010)
Character: Joyce Lakeland
Nude? No
Complex says: Jessica stars in the remake of the 1952 crime novel of the same name along with Casey Affleck and Kate Hudson. We ain't seen it yet, but if Alba happens to be the "me" we'd def be the "killer." See what we did there?
