How to Get Her to Buy You a Drink

Buying drinks is an expensive hobby. One shot turns into a round, and before you know it you've spent the rent money on Jameson, leaving you with a throbbing hangover, fuzzy memories, and whiskey-damp regrets. What's a man looking for love (or lust, whatever) on a budget to do?

Easy answer: flip the script. You can keep tossing those hard earned dollar bills on every female with a fatty that walks into the bar, or you can take a couple steps toward equality. This is 2011, gentlemen.

Fear not, we're here to save your swagger and keep your cash intact. Here's How to Get Her to Buy YOU a Drink.

by Shante Cosmé (@ShanteCosme)

Buying women drinks to get their attention is a sad ploy that shows little creativity and even less game. Attractive women get offered drinks all night long. Hell, even unattractive women get drinks handed to them! Saying hello or making a witty opening (clarification: not a pick-up line) is the proper way to get the ball rolling.

Buying her a drink as an icebreaker is a cop-out, and it's a move that shows you're lacking the confidence and/or intelligence to attempt conversation. If you have even the slightest bit of swagger, you should not be buying a woman's attention. You should be confidently putting who you are on the table, not putting a free martini on the bar.

We've established you should not be using cocktails as means of communication, right? And the logical question that follows is, why should she? The answer is, because while you're attempt to buy her affection with alcohol is cliché, her doing so is (unfortunately) an unexpected gesture. But it's that novelty that will work in your favor.

Try this: When you make eye contact with a woman and the interest is reciprocated, instead of bum-rushing the crowd in an attempt to get at her before she runs off, stay exactly where you are, and keep doing exactly what you're doing. Throw a coy smile in her direction, and non-verbally establish interest in any way possible until she works up the courage to approach you.

This might go against typical bar protocol, but it's the inversion of the expected that makes it exciting. Women enjoy the chase, too! Play into that innate desire and you've already set yourself apart—and set yourself up for a drink.

Once she's approached you, you might be tempted to feed her drinks to keep the conversation flowing. Resist that urge! Know that buying her drinks all night does not give you ownership of her attention, and it definitely doesn't ensure you will end up with her at the end of the night. The only thing it guarantees is that you seem like a guy who is trying too hard—never a good look.

When the time comes where one or both of you need another drink, don't immediately spring to buy. Remember the door test from A Bronx Tale? This is the modern version. If she assumes you're buying and doesn't offer to pay, or worse yet, bails when you don't, in the words of Chazz Palminteri: "She's a selfish broad and all you're seeing is the tip of the iceberg. You dump her and you dump her fast."

On the other hand, if she expects nothing and offers to buy the round and/or actually does, she's golden. While all woman want a man that is generous, if she is the type of woman who is looking for a sponsor, you have weeded her out right there and saved yourself the money and the headache while scoring yourself a drink in the proccess.

At this point, don't be a fool: Pick up the tab for the next round or she'll think your either living on your mother's couch or total d-bag, neither of which will get you laid.

If a woman asks you to buy her a drink and you oblige, one of two things wil inevitably happen. One, she will leave after she finishes it (or if she's really wham-bam-thank-you-sir, as soon as you've paid) and two, even if she sticks around, she'll assume you're a pushover. You're trying to set a precedent here! Start off on the wrong foot and you'll never be able to shake that initital puppy-dog impression.

A smart man handles a request for booze with his own request. It's as simple as saying, "Why don't you buy me a drink?" Throw in a raised eyebrow for good measure.

If she's cool, she'll roll with it (I mean, what choice does she have? She expected you to do it!) and whether she offers up the free booze or not, she'll be intrigued because you didn't give into her demands. Congrats, you just established that you actually have a set!

If all that she wants is another cocktail, she'll storm off, and you'll have saved your time and your cash, once again. Win!

With your old, out-of-order swag, you assumed she needed you for drinks, which in turn created an utterly unsexy dynamic.

Here's the new word: Every woman (aside from a needy girl or two out there) is intrigued by a scenario that veers away from the expected and closer to a challenge. Did you think you were the only ones that like to be kept on your toes? We all know the comfort zone (the byproduct of sticking to the same old shtick) is synonymous with friend zone, and the further your push her outside it (without being an asshole) the closer you get to winning her over (for the night, or longer).

In particular, confident, beautiful women who are used to easily getting what they want will be really fired up by being kept on their toes, and will need little or no leading to the proverbial water (or vodka, in this case). A sharp comment about her "taking the reigns" or some playful banter about her "wearing the pants," and you'll be taking a shot she bought before the words are out of your mouth. It's human nature to enjoy a little friendly competition, so play a little power tug-o-war and it might just lead to other situations where she's "taking control."