Fancy Forties: 10 Malt Liquor Cocktails

Image via Complex Original

There are two ways to talk about malt liquor. You can be patronizing and borderline racist like "Breaking out the Forty", a Beer Advocate article on American malt liquor, an article that spells Tupac Shakur's first name "Tu Pac." Or you could avoid the thorny sociopolitical/economic issues wrapped up in the consumption and promotion of malt liquor in this country and state obvious facts. We like the second option.

Obvious: In the U.S., malt liquor typically comes in 40 oz. bottles.
Obvious: The ABV typically ranges from 5.5% to 8.2%.
Obvious: "Good" would be an incorrect way to describe the taste.
Obvious: "Fucked" would be a correct way to describe the effects on the drinker.

So here's the deal. People make beer cocktails. They use things like expensive stouts and champagne, or high-end floral liqueurs. They rim glasses. They describe these cocktails as being "cheeky...cure[s] for the economic recession."

But we're Complex. Fuck your cheeky recession proof bullshit. We made cocktails using 40 ounces of malt liquor and ingredients you can buy at the bodega.

Please click on to see the recipes for 10 cocktails that use malt liquor.

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The Brass Monkey

1 part orange juice
2 parts malt liquor

The classic. You've drank and enjoyed this one before. The sweet acidity of the OJ cuts back on the 40 flavor.

Note: The typical recipe calls for the person to drink down to the label and then fill to the top. By drinking down to the label on your typical 40, you consume approximately 12 ounces. Any recipe calling for you to drink to the label and then add a second drink puts the ration of malt liquor to whatever you're adding at approximately 2 to 1.

The Go Fuck Yourself Shandy

1 part ginger ale
1 part malt liquor

A shandy is a popular beer cocktail that mixes beer with ginger ale or lemonade. Drink your 40 halfway down, then fill the rest with ginger ale. If you use a ginger ale that's fresh from the fridge, you get the added bonus of chilling your 40, which may have warmed slightly as you drank.

The Broken Cherry Limeade

1 part cherry limeade
2 parts malt liquor

Cherry limeade is strongly remincisent of cough syrup. With many of these drinks, the idea is that whatever you add to the 40 will make the 40 better. Like how you'd be a better person if there was always someone around to point a gun at you. With this drink, though, the 40 actually makes the cherry limeade better, giving you a taste you'd ask for a second spoonful of.

The Monkey Shines

1/2 part orange juice
1/2 part ginger ale
2 parts malt liquor

Literally no thought went into this. Orange juice goes well with a 40. So does ginger ale. Ginger ale and orange juice pair fine. Combine all three and you're doing good work.

The Irregular Heartbeat

1 part Red Bull
2 parts malt liquor

This drink is like a poor man's Four Loko (and that's pretty poor). It takes your resting heartbeat and kicks it in the balls. It kicks so hard that your resting heartbeat pukes. For extra damage, we used St. Ides, which has an ABV of 8.2%. St. Ides has been endorsed by virtually every MC in the game except for Chuck D, who hates it.

The Blood Up

1 part vodka
3 parts tomato juice
3 parts malt liquor

Are we implying that there's a certain amount of courage necessary to make this bodega Bloody Mary? Yes.

Maybe it has something to do with the acid, but as was the case with the orange juice, the tomato juice significantly reels in the flavor of the 40. Of all the drinks here, this one probably looks the nicest, with its almost sickly deep red shading.

The Mainline

1 part stout
1 part malt liquor

Pump the breaks, kid—this recipe has actual instructions. Fill a glass halfway with malt liquor. Then, place a spoon atop the mouth of the glass and slowly add the stout. You won't get the layered effect you get with a Black Velvet (a stout poured over champagne) but you'll look great while you do it. No one you're with will have ever seen a 40 consumed like this.

The stout nearly squashes the taste of the 40. The finish is a bit like cigarettes, but in a good way.

The Streetsweeper

1 part vodka
3 parts malt liquor
3 parts lemonade

By now, we've learned our lesson. Acidic, citrusy drinks are the correct mixer for malt liquor, and none prove it quite so beautifully as this. Give one to your friend and don't tell them what's in it. Then, after a few, help them up from the floor and explain that they've been drinking a 40 cocktail. Watch everything come into sharp relief for them. Or not. You know, because they'll be trashed.

The Wigsplitter

1 part vodka
1 part tequila
3 parts malt liquor

As expert mixologist Toby Maloney explained to us, "Vodka is...a flavor enhancer. It has no flavor in and of itself." So here it enhances malt liquor and tequila. The other nickname a friend coined for this drink is "My Apocalypse," with the "my" referring to whoever is drinking it. But if you're going to go out anyway, this is a fine way to do it. Come 2012, everybody will be sipping on this.