Image via Complex Original
As previously mentioned, Trick Daddy's Twitter timeline is basically themed around the idea of giving your hood uncle some E&J, a pork chop sandwich, a blunt and then asking him to talk about the world. That's obviously the best and worst thing ever, but of the many celebrities who share their tidbits on life via Twitter, Trick Daddy is one of the ultimate favorites (blessings to you, Fresh, for introducing me to his ministry).
So, in celebration of Trick's philosophy, here's a look at his thoughts on politics, sex and sanitation, lurkers, and moms and pop-pops still going to the 21-and-up clubs of America. If you love what you read, feel free to follow Trick and see more of his musings via Instagram. Someone introduced him to the word app, so it's a wrap on IG now.
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Shower before morning sex.
I didn't study gynecology, so I don't know if a vagina marinates overnight the same way chicken wings drenched in lemon pepper do. However, if you're some sort of neat freak, then I imagine this is just an extension of that. No? Well, hell, I don't know.
Small talk is for suckers.
Some people don't know how to handle situations in which they come across a person they know, but aren't necessarily friends with. Trick is showing you the way here: speak, but spare people the small talk.
Don't try to live vicariously through your kids.
Kris Jenner, this means you. Billy Ray Cyrus, this means you, too. Likewise, Hulk Hogan. And ditto, Justin Bieber's parents.
Practice safety first.
I respectfully disagree with this point of view, mostly because women could simply be dancing in their car. You know, listening to Beyoncé's command to pat their weaves. I dance in the car, too, so I really can't judge another here. However, be careful. One false pat and you might be a crash test dummy.
No incest 'round these parts.
People watch a lot of Maury. That's all I have to say about this. But, hey, you never, ever know. Or something.
Follow or get the f*ck on.
I'm not sure if I should be offended by the phrase "booty burglaring ass," but I do share a common contempt for heartless people. The same can be said of people who don't follow you on Twitter, but read your timeline like the damn newspaper. Stop being terrible, people.
Leave Justin Bieber alone.
Justin Bieber seems like an obnoxious brat, but you'd probably be an obnoxious brat, too, if you were a multi-millionaire three days after you first hit puberty. While I agree that Justin's been acting a bit corny lately, he's a teenager and has every right to act a total ass and learn from his mistakes the same way the rest of us have. Leave him alone. Plus his last album was good, even if sang in a single note the entire time.
Don't confuse sex for love.
You may have had his semen, but you'll never be soulmates.
Bigger heads equal bigger brains.
As the owner of a big ass head, I approve this message. If you know of a big-head idiot, do me and Trick a favor and tell not a single soul.
Vote in local elections.
I don't know about y'all, but as someone who watches cable news (for work...and because I'm a masochist), I wouldn't mind Trick Daddy getting some shine as a political pundit since he's far more useful than most of CNN and Fox News in a single tweet. Or y'all can vote for him as mayor of Miami and call it Uncle Luke's revenge.
