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No complaints here: 2011 has been a great year in endless arenas. From hot gadgets to even hotter women, the past 12 months have provided blessings like Drive, iPhone's Siri, Breaking Bad's epic fourth season, several extra scantily clad Rihanna videos, and, of course, Chris Paul to the Clippers.
It's also provided the GOP debates, which have been drawing record numbers this year in terms of viewership. Watching the battle rage on between the crew of outspoken hopefuls with goals of occupying the White House has provided some of the year's most memorable quotables (for better and for worse). They've encouraged the nation to contemplate its most pressing issues, and, at the same time, they've also encouraged us to reimagine history—more specifically, one in which Paul Revere's allegiances lie with the British.
But the day-making comments uttered by politicians certainly expand far beyond the debates. This was also a year in which cyber philandering got the best of one prominent figure, a botched Medal of Honor award sunk another, and just about everyone and their mother showcased how painfully awful their American history skills truly were. One perk? Rick Perry got a ton of new followers on "Tweeter."
With the new year upon us, we decided to backtrack through the most awesomely brow-raising utterances and pay them (and their speakers) proper homage. Allow us to present you with our list of The 25 Dumbest Politician Quotes Of 2011.
Barack Obama On "The Intercontinental Railroad"
25. President Barack Obama, on "the Intercontinental Railroad"
Silvio Berlusconi
24. Silvio Berlusconi, on potential party name changes
Rick Perry On Election Day
23. Rick Perry, on Election Day
Michele Bachmann On Elvis
22. Michele Bachmann, on Elvis Presley
Michele Bachmann on John Wayne
21. Michele Bachmann, on John Wayne
Regrettably for Michele Bachmann, getting Elvis' born day wrong wasn't her only attempt to honor a local legend that fell flat thanks to poor fact-checking. While trying to pump up the people of Waterloo, Iowa, the congresswoman kicked off her campaign by comparing her personal pizzazz to that of the town's own John Wayne:
"Well, what I want them to know is, just like John Wayne was from Waterloo, Iowa. That's the kind of spirit that I have, too."
One problem: The John Wayne to hail from Waterloo wasn't the film star the politician had in mind, but John Wayne Gacy, an infamous serial killer and rapist convicted of 33 murders.
Talk about a rough start.
Herman Cain On Syria
20. Herman Cain, on his plan of action for Syria
Mitt Romney On America's Future
19. Mitt Romney, on America's future
One fateful day this past December, a sage by the name of Mitt Romney encouraged us to ponder the following:
"Are we going to be a nation that's governed by the government?"
Well, as far as we know, yes.
Anthony Weiner On The Infamous Twitter Photos
18. Anthony Weiner, on the infamous Twitter photos
Rick Santorum On Racial Profiling
17. Rick Santorum, on racial profiling
If there was ever a man guaranteed to secure the Muslim vote... It'd definitely be anyone other than Rick Santorum. Are you a member of the Nation of Islam? Don't expect to have an easy go of it at the airport if Santorum is on the watch. The guy has been shockingly blunt when it comes to his views on racial profiling. Per his statement endorsing profiling at the airpot:
"Obviously, Muslims would be someone you look at, absolutely."
Damn! We can only imagine what this guy is like in an NYC taxi.
Mitt Romney On Reasons Not To Elect Him
16. Mitt Romney, on reasons to think twice about electing him
Michele Bachmann On "The Shot Heard 'Round the World"
15. Michele Bachmann, on "the shot heard 'round the world"
Condoleezza Rice On Attacks On U.S. Soil
14. Condoleezza Rice, on attacks on U.S. soil
Herman Cain On The Constitution
13. Herman Cain, on re-reading the Constitution
Michelle Bachmann On A Zero-Percent Tax Rate
12. Michele Bachmann, on a zero-percent tax rate
Mitt Romney On Gay Marriage
11. Mitt Romney, on gay marriage
Speaking of self-contradictory statements, Bachmann hasn't been the only debater to debunk her own comments within a notably short period of time; Mitt Romney, in fact, was able to do it within a single sentence. He explains:
"I'm firmly in support of people not being discriminated against based upon their sexual orientation. At the same time, I oppose same-sex marriage."
Uh...right.
Michele Bachmann On Gay Marriage
10. Michele Bachmann, on gay marriage
Newt Gingrich On Child Labor
9. Newt Gingrich, on child labor
Sick of hearing kids whining about their allowance? Have an 8-year-old brother hustling pudding cups due to lack of cash flow? Newt Gingrich has a solution for that: Don't be mad—be an underage janitor! Apparently, there's no better way to elevate a child's self-esteem. They'll report to a master janitor and everything! Per Mr. Gingrich:
"It is tragic what we do in the poorest neighborhoods, entrapping children in child laws which are truly stupid. Saying to people you shouldn't go to work before you're 14, 16. You're totally poor, you're in a school that's failing with a teacher that's failing.
I tried for years to have a very simple model. These schools should get rid of unionized janitors, have one master janitor, pay local students to take care of the school. The kids would actually do work; they'd have cash; they'd have pride in the schools. They'd begin the process of rising."
Nothing to combat any bitterness you've ever had against your school like scraping other peoples' gum off the bottom of some desks. We think dude may have seen Good Will Hunting one too many times.
Herman Cain On Libya
8. Herman Cain, on Libya
Rick Perry On Solyndra
7. Rick Perry, on dangerous locations
Although history doesn't appear to be a strong suit amongst quite a few of our nation's most known politicians, Rick Perry, on the other hand, undoubtedly drops the ball hardest when it comes to geography.
Within the same year that he dubbed Juarez "the most dangerous city in America" (it's actually located across the border in Mexico), he proceeded to slam President Obama's spending in a rant about "the $500+ million that went to the country 'Solynda.'"
1) Solyndra is an energy company.
2) Wow.
President Obama On Jared Monti
6. President Barack Obama, on Medal of Honor recipient Jared Monti
Herman Cain On China
5. Herman Cain, on China as a threat
Say what you want about Herman Cain, but we're really going to miss that dude. The former GOP candidate offered quite a lot in the way of entertainment. His run? Anything but bland.
In a November interview, Cain made his views known that China indeed posed a potential threat to the United States because "they've indicated that they're trying to develop nuclear capability and more aircraft carriers like we have. So yes, I consider them a military threat."
Well, that would've been news back in 1964 (October to be exact), when news broke of China performing its first tests on a nuclear device. You're only 48 years late on that, buddy.
Sarah Palin On Blood Libel
4. Sarah Palin, on "blood libel"
Herman Cain On His Resignation
3. Herman Cain, on his resignation
Sarah Palin On Paul Revere
2. Sarah Palin, on Paul Revere
Forget everything you think you know about the tale of Paul Revere, who famously warned colonists of the impending arrival of British troops. Apparently it didn't go down that way--at least according to former Alaskan governor Sarah Palin, a clear expert on the matter. Of the historical figure's legendary Midnight Ride in 1775, the Going Rogue author governor offered the following:
''He who warned, uh, the British that they weren't gonna be takin' away our arms, uh, by ringing those bells, and um, makin' sure as he's riding his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that we were going to be sure and we were going to be free, and we were going to be armed.''
Per Palin, Revere was warning the British all along! Who knew? Certainly not centuries' worth of historians. We can hardly wait to hear her rehash the tale of Martin Luther King Jr.'s role in the Civil War.
Rick Perry On "The Three Agencies"
1. Rick Perry, on "the three agencies"
For GOP candidate Rick Perry, it's not so much what was said as what wasn't in this especially memorable 2011 gaffe. In an initially cocky statement about which three federal agencies he'd like to eliminate if elected president, Perry sounded off on the first two and drew a complete blank at the third, totally forgetting what he'd planned on saying:
''I will tell you: It's three agencies of government, when I get there, that are gone: Commerce, Education and the—what's the third one there? Let's see. ... OK. So Commerce, Education and the... The third agency of government I would—I would do away with the Education, the ... Commerce and—let's see—I can't. The third one, I can't. Sorry. Oops.”
It ultimately turned out to be "the Department of Energy" that had been on the tip of his tongue all that time, but unfortunately, his revelation occurred a little too late: Perry's bumbling debate moment had already turned into one of the most defining of his run. And our choice for the year's dumbest politican quote. Congrats, Rick!