Image via Complex Original
On television, super criminals like Walter White make breaking the law look easy. But this is real life, and in real life people who break the law tend to get caught—a lot. One of the reasons they get caught is because they commit crimes that are so outrageous that they end up on lists like this. The people featured on this week's roundup of the most ratchet crimes in America are definitely no Heisenberg. Regardless of who they are, it's easy to agree upon the fact that they are good examples of how truly twisted life can be, and the fact that ratchet crime won't be going anywhere anytime soon. This week includes a woman drunk in love, vengeful male strippers and a fast-food parking lot. Proceed with caution.
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Male Strippers Beat Suspect in Robbery
Date: 3/19/14
Location: Las Vegas
Crime: Attempted murder, attempted robbery, attempted burglary
Australian male dancers from Thunder Down Under caught a perpetrator who stole from their set backstage.The suspect fired a shot among the brawl, causing one of the dancers to suffer injuries. The unidentified man has been charged with attempted murder, attempted robbery, and attempted burglary.
Nude Wendy's Customer Lands Man in Jail
Date: 3/20/14
Location: Harrison, Pa.
Crime: Open lewdness, disorderly conduct, indecent exposure, driving with a suspended license
Kenneth Clark was arrested for indecent exposure after baring it all at a Wendy's three times in two days. March 12 marked his first incident where he sat in his car in the nude and waiting for employees to look inside his vehicle. Days later, Clark repeated the prank. Clark had also been driving with a suspended license—a charge he's had 22 times prior.
Students Force Dog on Keg Stand
Date: 3/11/14
Location: Brockport, N.Y.
Crime: Torturing and Injuring an Animal
Students of SUNY Brockport took the keg stand to another level when they photographed a black Labrador retriever getting inebriated against its will. The photo went viral on Twitter. Student Robert Yates was arrested on two counts of animal cruelty.
Wife Adds Anti-Freeze to Husband's Steroids
Date: 3/14/14
Location: Delaware
Crime: First Degree Murder
Jamie Baker found her husband James Baker dead in their Delaware home. The autopsy, however, revealed that he had been a victim foul play. Ethylene Glycol poison, a substance commonly found in anti-freeze, was found in his system. Jamie later admitted that she had injected her husband's steroids with Ethylene Glycol. She is now facing charges for first degree murder.
Man Allegedly Attempts to Run Over Triple Amputee
Date: 3/14/14
Location: Houston
Crime: Aggravated Assault
Jacaree Keith of Houston was arrested for trespassing his girlfriend's apartment building where he had been banned for a prior assault charge. Security guard and triple amputee Joseph Montemayor attempted to take a photo of Keith's license plate when Keith accelerated his vehicle. The threat on Montemayor's life put Keith behind bars with a $30,000 bond.
Man Racks Up Double DUI in Same McDonald's Parking Lot
Date: 3/15/14
Location: Oneonta, NY
Crime: Drinking Under the Influence
Zachary Boynton got a double whammy DUI in the same parking lot within a few hours. After ramming into the back of a car while in the fast-food parking lot, Boynton was slapped with a DUI. He was later released, although his blood-alcohol content was three times the legal limit. Hours after his release, Boynton found himself back in the same parking lot, this time crashing into the building.
Burglar Gets Busted After Leaving I.D. at Crime Scene
Date: 3/19/14
Location: Miami, Fl.
Crime: Burglary
Two burglars attempting to lift keys from a used car dealership left a piece of crucial evidence behind: a driver's license. Once the two thieves managed to get a hold of the keys, suspect Travis Rice dropped his driver's license while taking his cellphone out of his pocket. Later that night, photos of the criminals posing with the car keys were posted on Facebook. Rice has been arrested.
Texas Women Arrested for Giving Toddler Six Shots of Vodka
Date: 2/18/14
Location: Houston, Texas
Crime: Child endangerment
Two Houston women were charged for allegedly giving a toddler six shots of vodka. According to KHOU, 17-year-old Shadreon Jefferson and 24-year-old Shamara Batiste, gave Jefferson's one-year-old daughter liquor, leaving her with alcohol poisoning last month. The duo allegedly dropped the child off at her grandmother's home one night, forcing the woman to call 911 when the little girl began vomiting violently and was unable to stand.
Florida Man Faces Rapes Charges Against Puppy
Date: 3/19/14
Location: Daytona Beach, Fl.
Crime: Bestiality, animal cruelty
James Bull of Daytona Beach was arrested after witnesses saw him getting too friendly with a puppy. Witnesses said they had seen Bull inappropriately touching dogs on previous occasions. The 8-month-old puppy was said to have a "swollen vagina" and Bull was charged with two counts of animal cruelty.
Wife Visits Husband in Jail Naked and Drunk
Date: 3/20/14
Location: Reston, Va.
Crime: Indecent exposure and public drunkenness
A Virginia woman faced charges of incident exposure and public drunkenness after visiting her husband in an Arlington jail. Upon visiting her husband, who was arrested earlier that week, Maura Fussell stripped down to display her goodies for the entire jail to see. When presented with the option of being escorted home or being detained, Fussell chose a cell.
