Everything I Need To Know About Life, I Learned From 'GOTG's' Rocket Raccoon

All the life lessons I've learned from Guardians of the Galaxy's Rocket Raccoon.

Rocket Raccoon, 'Guardians of the Galaxy'

Image via Marvel

Rocket Raccoon, 'Guardians of the Galaxy'

When I dropped that Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 quiz, I hoped I would end up getting Rocket, the lit raccoon who totes tonz o’ gunz and stands on Groot’s shoulder. When I caught Guardians of the Galaxy in theaters, I identified with dude something crazy, and figured that, if anyone from the Marvel Universe would be my spirit animal, it’d be Rocket.

If you know me (which you don’t), you’d imagine that me being Rocket makes sense; I’m an ornery (old) man who doesn’t stop cracking wise. True intentions aside, I’d be Rocket if I was way shorter and had a tail. Either way, out of every Guardian, he’s the one I identify with, and in looking back at the first Guardians, he drops a number of gems that you should be taking heed to.

Don’t believe me? Here is a Little Golden Book a few hundred words on the lessons Rocket drops on the regular in hopes that someone is listening. Hey Rocket? All ears, buddy.

You can never have too many guns

'Guardians of the Galaxy'

No, you shouldn’t be taking this literally (although if you do plan on strapping up, at least get a permit). Rocket never felt right without a huge gat in hand, but I drew inspiration from this to essentially better my skillset. You can no longer coast on being dope at just one thing; Hannibal Buress has spoken on his Handsome Rambler podcast about the idea that once Hollywood falls in love with a comedian, they immediately ask if they can write sitcoms. Some can (and have won), but the others just end up chilling on the “dope comedian” level because they couldn’t level up.

Basically, perfect your skills and stay adding more to what you can do.

You really only need one trusted friend

'Guardians of the Galaxy'

I don’t care how much they may have bickered, Rocket always knew that Groot had his back. We never get to hear how deep their friendship has run, but you got the sense that they’d been ripping and running for years, and complimented each other well.

The internets may base your wealth on the number of followers/friends/likes/retweets you may have, but just know that IRL, it’s those in your intimate circle who can help you become a better person.

It doesn’t hurt to have a squad, though

'Guardians of the Galaxy' squad

Now while all Rocket truly needed was Groot, he recognized that Star-Lord, Gamora, and Drax really did look out for he and Groot as friends. Once that revelation hit, he was a ride-or-die member of the team. Plus, there was no way that Rocket was going to bust out of jail without the help of the entire squad. Which leads us to…

Always plan ahead

'Guardians of the Galaxy'

The Guardians didn’t even seem to be in prison for 48 hours without Rocket already having a plan to bust them out of there. He’s mechanically inclined, but he’s also pretty slick when it comes to dropping the right plan, hence the reason the gang got out of jail so quickly.

Know your peers

'Guardians of the Galaxy'

Rocket may not realize it, but he was the one with all of the answers. When Star-Lord knew next to nothing about Gamora, Rocket was right there to put him on. 

Now it’s dope to be focused on your bag and how you will obtain it, but you need to be aware of people who are in your lane. There’s no way to crush your dreams than to have them dashed out by someone who you should have been prepared for.

Establish yourself early

'Guardians of the Galaxy'

When Rocket and company were inundated with prisoners who wanted some action, Groot pounced on the assaulter while Rocket told everyone within earshot that you couldn’t mess with anyone in his team without catching it. It’s one of the many jokes that come about when someone goes to jail, but this is actually sound advice. That doesn’t mean you need to be clapping back first, but if something is about to pop off, let the offending party know just how equipped you are to handle yourself.

Enjoy the simple things in life

'Guardians of the Galaxy'

Whether it’s shooting someone in the back or the feeling of kicking your shoes off when you get home from work, you really should be stopping to enjoy those small moments. Huge accomplishments definitely deem celebration (and libation), but that doesn’t mean you need to neglect important-yet-tiny things in life...just don’t let it involve shooting someone in the back.

Heed Rocket's lessons; you will need them in your life.

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