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Spencer Tracy and Katharine Hepburn. Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall. Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore? Like it or not, Sandler and Barrymore may be the closest thing this generation has to an “iconic” on-screen couple. In their new romantic comedy, Blended, they play an unlikely pair of platonic acquaintances who find themselves falling in love as the movie progresses. Not unlike The Wedding Singer. And sort of like 50 First Dates.
While the comic duo may not bring the same fiery fun and passion that their predecessors did, it could be worse. They could be Nick Nolte and Julia Roberts! Chemistry is a strange thing, indeed, and while it may be a science in most worlds, in Hollywood, it’s more like a game of chance. But if more than a century of movies has taught us anything, it’s that there are some definite rules when it comes to the chemistry of chemistry. These are The Dos and Don’ts of On-Screen Coupling.
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Do: Cast actors with real chemistry.
By now, the story is legendary. Brad Pitt was still married to Jennifer Aniston when he co-starred with Angelina Jolie in 2005's Mr. & Mrs. Smith. Stories of the chemistry between Pitt and Jolie were everywhere; shortly thereafter, Aniston and Pitt split. Nearly a decade later, people still like to talk about it. But the fact is, whether the on-screen attraction between two actors is real or fabricated, it's the most necessary ingredient in any cinematic coupling. Period.
Don't: Cast actors who hate each other.
Everyone loves Julia Roberts—except for Nick Nolte. The feeling was mutual.
Seemingly from the moment the two stepped onto the set of I Love Trouble (1994), rumors of their disdain ran rampant. Though both of their PR teams tried to do damage control, the proof is in their lackluster performances. Oh, that and the fact that Roberts told The New York Times, "From the moment I met him we sort of gave each other a hard time, and naturally we get on each other's nerves." She went on to note that while he can be "completely charming and very nice...he's also completely disgusting." That assessment shows in the movie, which bombed.
Do: Make it musical.
Rumors of Gene Kelly and Debbie Reynolds' disagreements on the set of Singin' in the Rain have always persisted. (Kelly was apparently not impressed with Reynolds' dancing skills.) But you'd never know there was any tension from watching the movie. All that singing and dancing can be distracting (in a good way).
Don't: Match wood with cardboard.
A big personality can go a long way on the big screen, and can even help hold up the sagging end of a far less gregarious character. But there's no way to go but down when two boring personalities are paired up. Case in point: Natalie Portman and Hayden Christensen in the later Star Wars films. It wasn't all their fault; they've both delivered far more exciting and impressive performances in other movies. Let's just blame George Lucas. Because, Jar Jar Binks.
Do: Make sure the actors' talent levels are equally matched.
Yes, Beyoncé has starred in a few movies. So has Prince. That doesn't make them actors. It makes them musicians who have tried to parlay their popularity into a different medium. And it's never really worked.
It's one thing for Bey to play the sassy comedic counterpart to Mike Myers' Austin Powers. It's another thing to ask her to take the lead in Obsessed, which was intended to be a sexy thriller co-starring the immensely talented Idris Elba as her male counterpart. (He once remarked that kissing her was "weird.")
Don't: Assume that a real-life couple's chemistry will translate to the screen.
Speaking of J-Lo's problem with chemistry... Though Gigli's epic failure wasn't solely the fault of its stars (then couple Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck), they certainly didn't help matters. While some real-life couples can't hide their attraction on screen (see Bogey and Bacall, and Pitt and Jolie), others simply fizzle (see Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman in Eyes Wide Shut).
Do: Cast two human beings.
Joaquin Phoenix and Scarlett Johansson's voice (as a Siri-like operating system in Her)? Surprisingly charming and romantic. Ryan Gosling and a woman-sized doll in Lars and the Real Girl? Unexpectedly heartbreaking. An attractive German woman and a lifeless, skeletal corpse in Nekromantik? Wrong in every way imaginable.
It's a rare case of heinous on-screen coupling, of course, but the 1987 German shocker Nekromantik is proof that, sometimes, pairing a living, breathing person with an inanimate object can leads to maximum discomfort.
Don't: Make the age difference creepy.
Here's the thing about May-December romance movies: They can be quite charming, as Hal Ashby's Harold and Maude and just about any Woody Allen movie (though most notably Manhattan) will attest. It's one thing to watch a relationship play out between a couple with a massive age difference, though; the image of them actually consummating, however, is always tinged with a bit of creepiness.
Do: Mix big personalities with quieter ones.
There's a reason why they say that opposites attract. And if you've ever been out with a couple where both members have outsized personalities, you know it can be exhausting. Smart movie producers know that one boisterous personality is more than enough—and cast/shape a film accordingly.
Don't: Keep it in the family.
It doesn't matter whether it's fictional or the siblings who want to be more than sibling-y are in fact related by blood. An audience is never going to root for two characters who share biological parents to get together. (Hello, The Royal Tenenbaums.)
Do: Cast George Clooney.
Fact: George Clooney is a charming guy. (If given three minutes, he could probably get that empty martini glass into bed.) So much so that he even managed to pull a fairly sexy performance out of Jennifer Lopez in 1998's Out of Sight. Which is a particularly impressive feat when you consider J-Lo's almost perfect track record of having zero chemistry with anyone.
Don't: Cast Jennifer Aniston.
Though Jennifer Aniston and David Schwimmer were the romantic center of Friends, and did a fine job with it, Aniston has never been able to properly transition that part onto the big screen.
Truth be told, it's more likely a matter of the roles she chooses—straightforward and not-very-interesting romantic-comedies are her bread and butter. When she strays outside of that comfort zone, as she did as a cheating wife in 2002's The Good Girl or a sex-crazed dentist in 2011's Horrible Bosses, she fares much better.
