While there's probably more than enough partially functioning old Christmas decorations stacked in back of one of your closets, or in a set of boxes in your basement, here's an idea for you to steal and pass off as original to your friends if you're both handy with wood and also shameless. It's a "manly version" of that leg lamp that breaks in A Christmas Story (sorry if that's a spoiler, but the movie is almost 35-years-old by now) and it comes from handyman Paul Jackman, via his YouTube channel Jackman Works.
As explained in a very detailed Imgur post, the finished product is a full scale model of Paul's leg. It also has a boot permanently attached to the bottom instead of a high heel. The whole process seems fairly complex, and unless you're as apt with tools as Hank Hill (or, you know, Paul) it seems that you may have to remain content with lights/fake fires/projectors you aim at your house/whatever other stupid crap they sell on infomercials this time of year.
Nevertheless it's a pretty dope video, and Paul also took to Reddit afterward to talk about his creation, among other topics. Check out the footage above and see if it's something you think you're capable of emulating. If not, don't risk your fingers.