We Want No Part of This New Bubble Wrap

The world, as we know it, is over—the makers of Bubble Wrap are rolling out a new version of the timeless packaging material that doesn't pop.

The Wall Street Journal reports that this new product from Sealed Air Corporation (a company that does not waste any time letting you know what they're about) has "inflated bubbles [that] look much like traditional Bubble Wrap," but won't burst if you pinch them. The new material will be called iBubble Wrap, because everything is terrible.

What's more—you will have to fill this new bubble wrap up yourself: it will be sold with a custom pump that can be used to inflate the flat sheets.

The new product comes in response to space concerns from online retail giants who use bubble wrap to ship their products—a roll of iBubble Wrap is 50 times smaller before its inflated than after. But while Amazon might be worried about how to cut costs and one-up its competitors, we're worried about the millions of kids that will grow up never knowing the joy of popping those little plastic bubbles to their heart's content.

Is there a black market for the old school bubble wrap yet? Okay, there should be, someone get on that.

Still, maybe the iBubble Wrap should be a welcome advancement—Sealed Air Corp.'s president of product care Ken Chrisman said the company was considering "exiting the bubble packaging business" because of the high cost of producing the bulkier Bubble Wrap. Can you imagine? A world with no bubble wrap whatsoever? Heaven forbid.

We'll update you when we know how much vintage Bubble Wrap is selling for on eBay.

[via the Wall Street Journal]