
Welp, it's finally over. Lifetime's much-ballyhooed The Unauthorized Saved by the Bell Story—partially based on salty cast member Dustin "Screech" Diamond's 2009 memoir, Behind the Bell—has come and gone. And it was just as awfully written and acted, boringly executed, and ultimately pointless as all of us millennials who hold a fond spot in our hearts for Zack, Kelly, Screech, Slater, Jessie, and Lisa feared it would be. But we all watched. And tweeted. And laughed.
Which is not to say the TV movie didn't shed a sliver of light on some of the drama surrounding our favorite Saturday morning non-cartoon. Amidst the unfortunate casting and laughable dialogue, a few fun facts and sordid details were revealed. Here's Everything We Learned From Lifetime's The Unauthorized Saved by the Bell Story.
Lisa Turtle was originally conceived as a "Jewish-American princess."

Elizabeth Berkley initially read for Kelly Kapowski.

Lark Voorhies' family's religious beliefs blocked her flourish.

Dustin Diamond's BFF was a sleazy extra.

Stage parents suck.

Dustin was a kung-fu master.

Dennis Haskins predicted this shit exactly.

Jennie Garth read for Kelly Kapowski.

Dustin Diamond was close with NBC president Brandon Tartikoff and his family.

The origin of the infamous "Jessie's Song" is finally revealed.

Dustin Diamond's first kiss was with co-star Tori Spelling.

Shocker: Mark-Paul Gosselaar isn't a natural blond.
