The Awards That Should've Been Given Out During the 2013 BET Hip Hop Awards

We get what Meek was going for here. Strutting out to the somber, reflective "Dream" portion of his crowd-pleasing album intro flanked by his entourage could've been a moment. And no question, Meek's performance was strong, bottled up and then explosive. But did his dudes have to look so bored? One guy was listening to other music on headphones. That's not supportive, you know?

Miley Cyrus has been co-signed by more rappers than Ciroc this year, so where was Princess Ratchet when it came time? Really, she could've popped up at any time, but her absence was felt the most during her pal French Montana's "Ain't Worried About Nothin (Remix)" performance. The only thing better than Diddy bopping around with a crown would've been a surprise Cyrus appearance. But no luck.

BET awards broadcasts are always good for a few rote skits, and last night's show opened with "Inside the Rapper's Studio." No, this had nothing to do with Elliott Wilson's CRWN series. BET really got James Lipton to sit opposite host Snoop Dogg to make a few Doggystyle puns and Baby Boy references. It was clearly a cash grab for the acclaimed Actor's Studio host, but his straightforward line-readings were actually good for a few chuckles.

What a coincidence that the day Future was (apparently) dropped from Drake's tour, BET aired this performance, which was, um, perhaps reassuring, for those with Would You Like A Tour? tickets who were lamenting the loss of Future Hendrix. The live band renditions sounded wildly out of touch, while Future pranced around the stage true to his goth ninja steez, barely singing along and engaging the crowd. We're just being honest.

So, that snippet BET released a couple of weeks ago? Just the tip of the iceberg. Gone is the professional respect that ran throughout the infamous "Control" verse—several hundred response freestyles and Drake interview quotes later, King Kendrick doesn't give a single fuck. We know Papoose is writing his response as we post this, but the real question is, is Drake?

And the special cypher guest is...Lil' Kim? The verse she kicked wasn't embarrassing, but an appearance from the Queen Bee isn't the stuff special cameos are made of these days, as she'll basically make a cameo anywhere that'll have her these days. We were more interested to see if Nicki would live-tweet some shade Kim's way than in what she was saying.

Count on Ross to provide the toplessness at any radio or BET show (curiously, he tends to cover up for MTV and the Grammys). Contrary to what Kevin Hart thinks, a non-restricting, airy velvet robe is exactly in Rozay's wheelhouse. Last night he was especially flexing: multiple reaction shots showed him in the audience with his hood up, channeling the Emperor from Star Wars. Vader forgives, Rozay doesn't.

Who would've thought that Larry David's name would be dropped on BET, let alone during one of the Hip Hop Awards cyphers? During the Real Husbands of Hollywood parody-cypher, Nelly propped LD for "making JB smooth" (get it?!) but JB had already stunted with "had enthusiasm way before Curb." Leon snapped, yo!

It's always a safe bet that Jay Z will ignore the broadcast no matter what award BET invents to lure him in—Hustler of the Year, MVP of the Year, etc.—but where was rap's current king? The show was taped a few weeks back, right in the thick of the OVO onslaught for Nothing Was the Same, and Drizzy was nominated for a whopping 13 awards, of which he won five, leaving the likes of Bow Wow and Big Tigger to collect them on his behalf. Maybe he didn't feel like making all of those speeches?