12 Things To Do If You Send Out a Drunken Tweet

Image via Complex Original

"Admit nothing, deny everything, launch counterattack," may be the Three Corollaries of noted GOP political lobbyist Roger Stone, but it can also be your strategy in dealing with an outrageous drunk tweet the next hangover-filled morning. Just pretend it never happened and move on, hoping that your followers don't say anything about it, and if they do: well, then it's time to launch your counterattack.

It was supposed to be a direct message—a drunk direct message that is. A double-DM, is not something you should be doing under any circumstances anyway—it just makes the embarrassment more personal—but playing it off like it was meant as a part of a crazy personal conversation could just save you some serious Internet shame points.

Sometimes you just have to roll with the punches, or own up to your mistakes. The best route to do this would be to just own up to your followers that you weren't exactly in the right state of mind when tweeting the night before—in other words, your incoherent ramblings were a result of you being trashed out of your mind. Gauge what the reaction to this is, and, as "a rolling stone that gathers no moss" would do, just roll with it.

There's a typo in the word above, and we bet that your sense of grammar (or at least we hope) caught on to it. It happens to the best of us, so why not use this excuse for your drunk tweet. If it's a typo, it's a typo, and there's nothing anyone can do about it—that is, except call you on your shit if they're smart enough to get around this old excuse.

What do Anthony Wiener, the Kenyan Chief Justice, Gucci Mane, and now you have in common? Why getting hacked on Twitter, of course—which is one way to justify your drunken Twitter shenanigans to the illustrious list of your followers. Don't try this one if you're a very important person or serious up-and-comer, but if your follower count is lower than the number of times you've been to the dentist this year, then you'll probably be okay.

Drake can be blamed for plenty of things wrong with the world. Like faking being a cripple on Degrassi, or making the state of rap ever more mediocre, or emotional. So just say you were caught up in the moment to Drake's latest album, and we think everyone might let you slide.

In a world where every piece of media has the chance to go viral, a drunk tweet is just one more piece of the proverbial puzzle, and if it's something totally ridiculous or shameful, this excuse might work. People know they're all on Twitter to get more followers—you're not on there to tweet to yourself. If you're willing to give up what little dignity you might have left, this might be a good route to go with the other ridiculous things that you tweeted while under the influence.

If your first inclination when you drink is to post some crazy Twitter status like only a sad drunk person could, then a good option would be laying off the drinking and tweeting, and go check yourself into AA. You probably have some related issues to work on as well, so therapy Twitter could be one long step on the road to drunk-free tweeting.

Take a cue from Walter White, and flee to New Hampshire at the first (and much less dramatic) sign of trouble. A drunk tweet is probably a great reason to uproot your life and run away from everyone and anyone you've ever known, so what are you waiting for? Get to it if you want to be as smooth as Hesienberg.

Trolling is a hard game to play on the Internet, and drunk-tweeting isn't necessarily trolling, but for those who don't know any better, this may work as a valid excuse. Just tell your followers it was an attempt to be funny, (which hey, it may have actually been more than an attempt) and a retweet or favorite will affirm that your so-called trolling was at least partially successful.

If you're feeling bold, you can always just go and delete the tweet. No questions asked. There isn't even a body to carry away. This would be the most quick and painless way to just let it go, deny everything, and hope that no one decides to bring it up before another drunken night of tweeting occurs.

A great way of dealing with the fallout of a drunk tweet is not dealing with it at all: just get increasingly hammered. Not only is this the ideal option to run away from your problems, but it's also a more than legitimate thing to do when your Twitter is infected by your own hubris.