This Week's Most Ratchet Crimes in America

The word "ratchet" may be played out, but until the Internet agrees upon a more accurate description for these crimes, it will have to do. These stories are sad, imaginative, and they inspire us to have conversations about race, class, and the American dream.

This week's roundup includes salad swapping for oral sex, child heroin dealers, and intimate relations with an inflatable raft. Each crime is rated on our Ratchet Meter, a base-10 logarithmic scale modeled after a similar system developed by Charles Richter—except that the Ratchet Meter has nothing to do with science because it's not actually a real thing.

Read on for the best of the worst ratchet crimes in America. Proceed with caution, stay safe, don't try this at home, and send your tips to [email protected].

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Date: 6/8/2014
Location: Brooklyn, N.Y.
Crime: Criminal drug possession with intent to sell
Ratchet Meter: 9

A Brooklyn man was arrested after a fire at his brownstone exposed his indoor marijuana farm, authorities say.

DNAinfo reports that 45-year-old Antonio Dow was arrested on Sunday, June 8th when an extension cord attached to the plant-growing lights caused the fire, leading firefighters right to the 40 marijuana plants in the basement of the Prospect Heights home.

"He was growing substantial plants and his electrical wiring short-circuited, and that's what caused a very smoky fire," Capt. Peter Rose of the 77th Precinct told DNAinfo last night. "They found these plants that were the size of small shrubs."

Furthermore, police discovered a rifle cartridge containing seven .38-caliber Winchester bullets and even more loose bullets in the apartment during a search. No gun was found, however. Dow has been charged with criminal drug possession with intent to sell.

Date: 6/10/2014
Location: Philadelphia, Pa.
Crime: Charges pending
Ratchet Meter: 6

Over a dozen children were rushed to a Philadelphia hospital as a safety precaution after a first grader brought heroin to school, authorities say.

CBS Philadelphiareports that 20 students at Commodore John Barry Elementary School in West Philadelphia were taken to Children's Hospital of Philadelphia yesterday after coming into contact with heroin brought to school by a 6-year-old girl.

According to CBS Philadelphia, the child brought 11 packets of the drug to school, where a teacher saw students playing with two packets that had been opened, and another which had reportedly been chewed open. One parent, Kristina Perry, told CBS Philadelphia that the girl was "showing [the packet] off." The child was reportedly able to sneak the heroin into the school because first graders are not searched upon entry.

Police searched the school, and no other drugs were discovered. Furthermore, a spokesperson for the School District of Philadelphia noted that the proper protocol was followed.

The girl's mother declined to speak to CBS Philadelphia, but police told the outlet they searched the woman's home and expect to file charges against her and her boyfriend.

Date: 6/6/2014
Location: Prescott Valley, Ariz.
Crime: Resisting arrest, unlawful discharge of a firearm, endangerment, disorderly conduct and misdemeanor criminal damage
Ratchet Meter: 10

Taking the concept of aiming high too far, an Arizona man was arrested for trying to shoot at the moon.

According to azfamily.com, Cameron Frank Read, 39, of Prescott Valley, Ariz. was arrested on Friday, June 6th after his girlfriend told police that he was recklessly firing a handgun. The woman's teenage sons, who were home at the time, told authorities that Read was rambling about "seeing Haley's Comet" as he fired from an open window.

When police finally convinced Read to leave the home, he explained that he wasn't trying to hurt anyone, he was just trying to shoot at the moon. He also admitted to smoking marijuana prior to this, which explains so much.

Read was charged with resisting arrest, unlawful discharge of a firearm, endangerment, disorderly conduct and misdemeanor criminal damage. Luckily, no one was injured.

Date: 6/6/2014
Location: New York, N.Y.
Crime: TBA
Ratchet Meter: 7

Authorities in New York City say a man shot his own mother June 6th, and then walked her to the hospital before fleeing.

The New York Post reports that the 32-year-old man shot his mother, 62-year-old Edith Ragin, once in the back with a .380-caliber handgun inside of her Manhattan apartment around 9:15 a.m. that Friday morning. He then walked her to Bellevue Hospital before returning to the apartment to ask neighbors what had happened, as if he didn't know.

The Post adds that Ragin told police that her son had shot her, prompting his eventual arrest outside of her apartment. She's said to be in stable condition, and it remains unclear whether the shooting was intentional or accidental.

Date: 6/7/2014
Location: Lakeland, Fla.
Crime: Battery, possession and cultivation of marijuana
Ratchet Meter: 8

A Florida man was arrested June 7th for slapping his brother in the face with marijuana plants, authorities say.

WPTV-5 reports that 31-year-old Rodney Brown and 33-year-old Jackie Brown (ha!) got into a heated verbal dispute at the Lakeland, Fla. home where they live. When tensions boiled over, the younger brother struck the older brother with marijuana plants he had ripped from their yard, some of which were as tall as three feet.

Not only was Rodney Brown arrested on domestic battery charges, he was also charged for possession and cultivation of marijuana because cops found 10 marijuana plants and assorted drug paraphernalia at the home.

Jackie Brown appears to have escaped any charges.

Date: 6/9/2014
Location: Tuscaloosa, Ala.
Crime: Solicitation of murder
Ratchet Meter: 10

As far as catfishing stories go, they never end well. Some of them end worse than others. This is in the "worst" pile.

An Alabama 19-year-old is in jail after she was catfished by her aunt, who thought she was spending too much time on Facebook. The aunt made a fake profile for a man named "Tre 'Topdog' Ellis," and began messaging her niece, Marissa Williams.

Then things went wrong, according to AL.com:

The experiment soured quickly. According to court documents, Williams began unknowingly talking to her aunt, posing as Ellis, in late May, and on the first day they interacted online, she gave the fictional boy her phone number and home address and asked him to come over and get drunk with her. She then offered to have sex with him if he'd pay her $50 cell phone bill.

That's not it, though. Turns out Williams wanted to get away from her family so bad that she wanted "Topdog" to fake kidnap her, and if her aunt (remember, she's the person behind "Topdog") tried to stop him, she wanted him to kill her.

...she told the fictional man how to get into her aunt's bedroom so he could kill her and the woman's fiance first, then she asked him to shoot her cousin and the family dog on the way out. Williams allegedly planned to pack her things in his car while 'Tre' murdered her family.

That's when the aunt had had enough. She called the authorities and Williams was arrested. Williams admitted to the plan but said she didn't really want them to happen.

Date: 5/5/2014
Location: Lake Wales, Fla.
Crime: TBA
Ratchet Meter: 10

Is it possible for something to be too Florida? A woman with a remarkably incriminating name was arrested early May for firing a missile into a vehicle that was occupied at the time. Florida scale. Officially. Broken.

Crystal Metheney (yeah, believe it), 36, was booked by the Polk County Sheriff's Department on Cinco de Mayo for shooting the missile into the car. This is a violation of Florida statute 790.19, which prohibits certain behavior like: "Shooting into or throwing deadly missiles into dwellings, public or private buildings, occupied or not occupied; vessels, aircraft, buses, railroad cars, streetcars, or other vehicles."

In other words, it expects people to exercise common sense. What Metheney did was horrible, but can we revisit the Lake Wales, Fla. native's name for a second? You could argue that it's actually the bigger crime.

Nothing more to say other than this is Florida simply being Florida.

Date: 6/10/2014
Location: Flushing, N.Y.
Crime: Grand larceny, forgery, and assault
Ratchet Meter: 9

A group of strippers and their manager were arrested in New York the night of June 10th after authorities uncovered their plan to drug affluent men, steal their credit cards and run up expensive tabs was uncovered, authorities say.

The New York Post reports that the DEA worked in conjunction with the NYPD and Westchester County Police Department to arrest the four dancers -Roselyn Keo, Marsi Rosen, Karina Pascucci, and Samantha Barbash-and Roadhouse NYC Gentleman's Club manager, Carmine Vitolo. The dancers also face charges of grand larceny, forgery and assault, while Vitolo was charged with grand theft and tampering with evidence.

The Post described how the dancers would set their victims up:

According to authorities, the strippers usually trolled for their victims at tiny Manhattan bars and restaurants over a four-month period beginning in September 2013.

On some occasions, they allegedly met the victims on the pretense of a "date."

Working together, they secretly drugged the victims with Molly, tranquilizers and cocaine, cops said.

They then drove the victims to either Scores on Manhattan's West Side or the Roadhouse in Queens, police said.

Once inside the clubs, they allegedly brought the zonked-out victims to a private adult entertainment room, stole their credit cards and discussed how much to charge on the cards.

In some cases, the suspects would take suggestive photos of the victims with both women and men, which they used for the purpose of blackmail.

All fiveconspiracy charges. The dancers also face charges of grand larceny, forgery and assault, while Vitolo was charged with grand theft and tampering with evidence.

Date: 6/11/2014
Location: Hamilton, Ohio
Crime: Public indecency
Ratchet Meter: 10

He's at it again. The Ohio man who's been arrested several times for having sex with inflatable rafts in public was arrested yet again for the same crime.

Edwin Charles Tobergta, who who's been arrested for similar behavior on five other occasions, was busted in Hamilton, Ohio for simulating sex with the inflatable device in plain sight on Route 4 around 8 a.m. June 11th.

Ohio's WLWT reports that the 35-year-old was "nude and in view of nearby businesses and passing cars."

In November, Tobergta was sentenced to 11 months in prison after pleading guilty to public indecency stemming from a July 2013 incident where he was basically doing the same thing, only within the view of children.He was released last month.

He's currently being detained on $35,000 bond, and will next appear in court on Jun. 18.

Date: 6/9/2014
Location: Daytona Beach, Fla.
Crime: Soliciting a prostitute
Ratchet Meter: 10

A Florida man who was betrayed by the barter system and perhaps his own lust was arrested for trying to swap a salad for a blow job from a prostitute who turned out to be an undercover cop.

The Smoking Gun reports that Alonzo Liverman, 29, was arrested by the Daytona Beach Police Department June 9th during a sting that corralled nine other men for similar offenses. Liverman, who didn't have any money, tried to work something out with the undercover officer by offering her his salad.

"You hungry?" he asked, according to police documents. "I got a salad." Bulletproof game, no? Seizing the opportunity, the officer proposed a "blow job for the salad," to which Liverman agreed, sealing his fate.

Liverman pleaded no contest to charges for soliciting a prostitute and was sentenced to two days in jail.