The 10 Corniest Places to Have a Bachelor Party

Back in the day, there were three choices for a bachelor party: order a stripper, go to a strip club, or don't have have a bachelor party at all. Things have since changed. New alternatives have cropped up. Some of these unconventional bachelor parties are refreshing alternatives to the booze and boobs of traditional men's nights out. Others will call your best man's title into question.

if your bachelor party gives you a historical perspective or allows you to get in touch with your inner nerd, it's not cool. Here are the 10 Corniest Bachelor Party Destinations in America.

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Where: Orlando, FL
Website: disneyworld.disney.go.com

It looks like grown men go to Disney World for more than appeasing their children and celebrating Super Bowl wins these days. There is no shortage of pre-wedding man-bonding that goes on under the auspices of Mickey Mouse and company. A brief search will not only yield photos from lame bachelor parties' past held at Epcot, and even message boards debating how to maximize this corny experience. Holding your bachelor party at an amusement park is already sinfully square, but to spend your last night as a free man in the pseudo-cultural tourist trap of Epcot should be against the law. If you aren't convinced, here is a painful video a bachelor party created to remember their experience.

Where: Jacksonville, FL
Website: worldgolf.com

Mark Twain famously referred to golf as "a good walk spoiled." We imagine the idea of a golf bachelor party would make him roll over in his grave. Though the unbearable lameness of spending this sacred bro-bonding ritual on the links is a common sight all over this great country, Florida is the epicenter of this deeply sad phenomenon. Jacksonville, Florida was also the site of a golf bachelor party gone wrong.

Golf Magazine reports that a more avid golfer, "attacked a group of six players gathered for a bachelor party" for "taking too long and disrespecting the course" So, if you are going to hit the links, be sure to protect your back nine.

Where: Portland, OR
Website: twitter.com/CasaDiablo

How do you know if someone's vegan? Don't worry, they'll tell you. If your animal-loving friend finally found someone who can put up with just how vocal he is about his diet, it is time to celebrate by taking him over to Casa Diablo, America's first vegan-only strip club. Not only is there no meat on the menu, but the majority of the dancers are meat-free and the ladies are forbidden from wearing fur, leather, or snakeskin. If you're as choosy about your diet as you are your lap dances, this looks like the place to be. Bonus points if you don't consider the dietary preferences of your meat-loving friends, and forget to mention that they won't be able to have a burger with their beer.

Where: Los Angeles, New York
Website: bordellobar.com

While some nerds opt to mix their RPGs with Double Ds during a bachelor party, spending their last night of freedom rolling dice rather than making it rain, more adventurous fanboys might just leave their basements for their last night as single gamers. There are a fair number of truly dorky strip club situations on both coasts, though our favorite is probably the Star Wars Night at Los Angeles's Bordello. If even your gamer friends think you're weird, there are all manner of burlesque shows that go up in these cities to indulge your weirdest fantasies, including Disney Burlesque.

Where: Williamsburg, VA
Website: colonialwilliamsburg.com

Virginia's historical attraction theme park markets heavier to bachelorettes than they do bachelors, but that doesn't mean you can't take advantage of some Revolutionary era amusement on your college buddy's last night as a free man. Colonial Williamsburg's website has an entire section dedicated to Night Life. There, they invite you to "gather in Shields Tavern for a rousing, one-of-a-kind meal, take a Tavern Ghost Tour to learn about the lesser-known inhabitants of the city, then stop by Chowning's during Gambols for some light refreshment and 18th-century entertainment." Yes, we did search the Internet for a colonial strip club wherein wenches might doff their knickers. No, we did not find such a place. [Author's Note: If Williamsburg locals know of a colonial themed strip club, reach out to me on Twitter @muddycreekU].

Where: Eugene, OR
Website: silverdolllarclubonline.com

If your fiancée allows you to plan your wedding around Halloween, this might be the place for you. In October, this strip club turns into a spooky, elaborate haunted house. On Halloween Weekend, the spook factor gets cranked up to eleven with a "Monster Masquerade Ball" and "Bloody Drink Specials." As if this weren't strange enough, there is also a bathtub and a shower in this all-nude club staffed largely by ladies putting themselves through the University of Oregon the hard way. If you can't make it during Halloween, don't worry, there are some other cheesy theme nights from time to time, including a pajama party and the "Stripper Olympics."

Where: Chicago
Website: hereschicago.com

While not technically one place, but many places, scavenger hunts are one of the most disturbing bachelor party trends of the moment, and we need to talk about just how misled an idea it is. We don't want to be too harsh on the Windy City, as scavenger hunt outfits are popping nationwide, but there are three different companies in Chi-Town ready to help you scavenge, which might be three too many. Many scavenger hunt companies cater to both private and corporate groups, so you can plan your lame team building event while you plan your pathetic bachelor party. Don't worry: if you are lame enough to attempt planning your own Bachelor Party Scavenger Hunt, there are plenty of resources online created by people just as lame as you.

Where: Locations Nationwide
Website: medievaltimes.com

A number of Medieval-themed bachelor party options are spread out across the country, but none of them feel quite like Medieval Times. The ability to combine the stale feeling of a chain restaurant with the ridiculousness of the Renaissance Faire makes Medieval Times one of the corniest places ever to spend thine dearest friend's final eve prior to his eternal indenture to his beloved. There is nothing quite like watching the jousts play out with all of the fanfare of professional wrestling while little league teams scream for more soda as they wash down their chicken legs. Be sure to buy some expensive mugs to commemorate your trip in the monstrous gift shop in front of the stadium.

Where: Fort Worth, Texas
Website: adventurebachelorparty.com

There are, for better or worse, a few different locales in our great nation where you can have your very own cattle wrangling bachelor party. We figure if you are going to commit to something like that, you should grab the bull by the horns and go all out. We recommend that you head down deep into the heart of Texas for your cowboy's night out. From your first cattle drive to your last Chuck Wagon Dinner, you'll feel like you're in your own City Slickers sequel, as you master the ways of the cowpoke.

Where: Baltimore
Website: urbanpirates.com

Full disclosure: the author has had a personal experience with this particular brand of swashbuckling bachelor party. Admittedly, we had a blast, but it was because everyone aboard the noble vessel embraced the sheer corniness of the event. Though there are a number of pirate-themed bachelor parties available for you lusty adventurers all over these United States, the Inner Harbor in Baltimore offers the perfect mix of bay access and white-bread suburban weekenders to allow such an endeavor to flourish.

Unless you and your boys are teatotalers, you'll likely want to sign up for a Bring Your Own Grog (B.Y.O.G.) cruise. Not to get your hearty hopes up, but when we went on our cruise, there was a bachelorette party aboard as well. Though none of us swashbucklers plundered any booty, perhaps ye scurvy knaves will be a bit luckier.