Tip: don't let Lindsay Lohan come to your wedding. I mean, this is the girl who wore a white gown to Kim Kardashian's wedding with Kris Humphries—she has no nuptial chill. But that whole thing is nothing compared to what apparently went down when Lohan hit up the wedding of Justin Etzin, consul general and ambassador of tourism for the Seychelles (huh?), and model Lana Zakocela last week.
Over the four-day celebration (again, huh?), Lohan allegedly came close to burning the whole thing down blow by blow, according to Page Six. She hit all the notes—ratchetness, pettiness, and nakedness. It might be best to just do a rundown of everything that reportedly happened:
- Lohan claimed she was "slipped a mickey" at the reception, so she left early. Back at her villa, she "was running around naked saying she was drugged."
- Before that, during the ceremony, Lohan was seen actually painting her nails. That's way better than wearing a white at someone else's wedding—that's a true IDFWU flex.
- Lohan was DJing one of the pre-wedding events when she thought she saw someone take a picture of her. Donning a British accent for whatever reason, Lohan exclaimed to everyone, "Who took the photo? Don't be an idiot."
- Additionally, while DJing, Lohan continuously played Brandy's "The Boy Is Mine." AT SOMEONE ELSE'S WEDDING.
- Finally, an additional report claimed that Lohan was accused of stealing jewelry at the wedding.
This is just amazing. I'm not even mad.
Because we always gotta hear both sides, a rep for the groom told Page Six that "none of those things are true." Shut up, rep. Let us have this. These are my #WeekendGoals.