We could be basking in the glow of that Gaga x Cooper performance or Spike Lee's expression of Green Book disapproval from last night's Oscars right now, but some nefarious forces are instead trying to bog down the timeline with another alleged update on the exhausting Jordyn Woods x Tristan Thompson x Khloé Kardashian x Kylie Jenner nonsense.

As much as it may shock you to hear this, it is with great disinterest that I inform you that the latest report comes from TMZ. Citing "sources close to" Woods in a report published early Monday, TMZ claimed the alleged tryst between Woods and Thompson was a one-off ordeal. Furthermore, this report alleges, Woods was "blackout drunk" at the house party where their hookup is alleged to have occurred.

While Woods is said to have conceded to making a "stupid decision," she's reportedly blaming the drinks. According to TMZ's in-depth source quoting, Woods doesn't drink very often and promptly cried when she was met with the alleged details of the night. However, an update later Monday added another side. Now, some Kardashian "sources" claim that Woods actually drove herself home from the party in question and thus was not drunk. Additionally, phones were locked up at the entrance, with these same Kardashian sources arguing that this shows some intended privacy. 

Last week, it was widely reported that comments Woods gave to attendees of an Eylure launch event might as well be interpreted as being about recent happenings. "Thank you guys for coming out and supporting through everything that's going on," Woods said. "It's been real, and Eylure has been super-real with a project I've been working on for over nine months right now."

Reports that a Woods-honoring item on Kylie Jenner's online shop had been dramatically price-chopped following the Thomson rumors, however, were later found to be misleading. The Jordy kit was actually discounted back in January, prior to the rumors kicking off with their signature flair for inconsequentiality.