Unless you’ve been stuck in the Coachella desert sans cell reception, it’s likely that you’ve had your mouth drop at least once this week as you noticed newly single Kylie Jenner gallivant around the country with rapper, Travis Scott. Yes, Travis Scott, who once dated Rihanna long ago in the year 2015. What’s peculiar about this pairing is that they claim to have been “friends” for ages, but unfortunately Travis hasn’t been seen in a single one of her Snapchats, which means that can’t be recognized as fact. What I can recognize is the fact that Travis has been romantically linked to both Kendall and Kylie, which is the tamest Kardashian/Jenner relationship drama this side of the millennium. 

Just last year, Kendall and Travis enjoyed a “date,” which was most likely platonic given Kendall’s love of “dates” and all the way back in 2015, Travis and Kylie were seen partying together when she was on a break from Tyga. Also, before Coachella this year, Travis was dialed up by Kylie for a night out just days after the news broke that she and Tyga were done and a few days before their possible relationship hit the press when Kylie was seen partying with Travis at Coachella. She was also seen, kissing him by various concertgoers and “sources” and filmed holding his hand. 

But are these two really together and/or doing it? Let’s break it down. 

Last summer when Kylie and Tyga were on yet another break (aka not this one or the one from 2015), and Kylie took that time to make him properly jealous by cavorting with PARTYNEXTDOOR and even appearing in one of his music videos, which she also did with Tyga when they were a shiny new thing. Despite her makeout session with PND in the video and the friendly Snaps to accompany their liaison, Kylie told us here at Complex, that she wouldn’t say they were dating, it was just “fun.” That “fun” stunt seemed to work, because shortly thereafter, she and Tyga were back on like he wasn’t completely bankrupt and she, as a teen, was his benefactor. And, Kylie’s penchant for men who need a helping hand either financially or emotionally seems to be her “kink” because both Tyga and PND are not what prying eyes would consider “good,” “stable,” or “successful” people—compared to Kylie. 

This is a similar model to what’s happening with Travis, but unlike PND, Kylie’s taking this jealousy tour nationally and unlike, Tyga, Travis actually has fans. First it was the sweaty, swampy, desert of Coachella, where Tyga was also in attendance fresh off of rumors that he was dating some model named Jordan Ozuna (who denied that the two were dating because she’s obviously very smart). Following Coachella, Kylie and Travis were most recently seen in Houston, where Travis performed a half-time set during a Houston Rockets basketball game. Though Kylie was draped in a severely oversized T-shirt, she sat courtside with her new man, definitely not putting a stop to the rumors that they’re fuckin’. Following the game, Kylie and Travis went shopping at Houston’s famed Galleria Mall, which means they’re totally fuckin’ because a mall date is the first step in procuring a lifetime bae! (See this season of The Bachelor). 

I’m no millionaire, and I can’t make any proclamations about how the 1% find love, but I would hedge a bet that a date to another state is just a pat on the back for making it this far in the game. To put this in perspective, Kylie and Tyga went on so many vacations together, it wouldn't be that drastic to assume that they just always vacationed. Kylie even invited Tyga to the family vacation to St. Bart's after less than a year of dating—and that was just one of their trips. I mean, Khloe Kardashian once flew to Houston just to go to Chipotle with James Harden, so it can’t be that serious. When I see them make a trip out of the country, I might perk my little ears up then. But even then, we’re talking about a teenager who has the means of a tiny government trying to make her ex-and first longtime love jealous. What wouldn’t you do to get that late night “what you on?” text when they know good and well you’re on another D!? 

So, let's get into the real tea as it concerns Kylie and her new “relationship.” It's a joke. I know there's a lid for every pot and all, but color me crazy for wanting the best for Kylie and knowing in my gut that she's yet to find her lid. Now, I don't want any of y'all coming for me in my mentions, but aside from being on the cusp of nobody-dom, Travis’ looks are simply unsavory. And, his track record with Kylie and Kendall show that he pops up in their lives when their guards are down. Which means he's either up to no good, looking for press or both. However, I could be jaded because I refuse to recognize anyone Kylie dates until she picks from better dudes that don’t look and act like they grew up in a swamp.

What are they doing for you, Sis. Kylie Jenner? I know our brains aren't fully developed until we're 25, so it makes it impossible to date anyone of note until then, especially when you're a loaded teenager, but STILL. Now that we’re talking one on one, I’d also like to request that you take a moment to be single. From what I know it looks like you've been in relationships for almost half of your life, and I'm sure you could use a break. If that's impossible, I urge you to please look in the mirror and at your bank account and do. Better. I hear Jaden’s looking for a good time...call him up.