Ted Cruz is a person. Furthermore, Ted Cruz is a person who just so happens to be running for president. However, prior to his years as the Presidential Candidate Most Likely to Blasphemously Overuse Princess Bride References, Cruz was just someone's purportedly annoying college roommate:

As noted by the Daily Dot, those are the words of Craig Mazin, noted screenwriter and ex-roommate of one Ted Cruz. If you're thinking "Yeah but that was, like, four years ago," then please refer to the additional gems below:


As noted above, Mazin's purportedly obnoxious roommate is actively seeking that POTUS spot while simultaneously spewing absolute nonsense like this little gem he gifted to NPR:

"The scientific evidence doesn't support global warming."