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What better time of year than now to feign offense at a red cup solely for the sake of "Christianity," yeah? Such brief though highly flammable online controversies, though obviously ridiculous when viewed from a distance, often catch quick and dangerous publicity fire thanks to high-profile human beings (Donald Trump, for one) who give these so-called protests unjust validity by speaking about them in anything other than a satirical tone. Stephen Colbert, who is sadly not running for president this go-around, struck the right chord regarding that whole Starbucks cup non-issue on Wednesday's Late Show by introducing this:


Ah, yes. Very Christ-esque. "Yes, they got rid of the Christian religious symbols like snowflakes and snowmen," Colbert noted. "I think we all remember the story of when Baby Jesus was visited by the Three Wise Frosties." As this is still the weird and wonderful world of Stephen Colbert, that decidedly festive concoction above quickly morphed into this monstrosity:


Colbert's take on this Starbucks red cup non-controversy is also worth your time because, with great comedic ceremony, Colbert refers to the instigator of this red cup nonsense as "Paul Blart: Mall Bro." Never stop being a straight-up god, Stephen.