A thorough history of all the times both Stephen Colbert, the actual person, and Stephen Colbert, the bombastic character, have effortlessly eviscerated the seemingly endless follies of Donald Trump is simply too dense for an article of this nature. From asking Trump to let him dip his balls into his gaping Republican mouth for charity to, most recently, weaving Trump's depressing success at using fame as a currency into a brilliant bit involving Oreo binging, Colbert has never shied away from trumping Trump.
With that consistency of well-earned mockery firmly in place, it is with some perplexity that viewers witnessed Trump's remarkably subdued appearance on Tuesday's Late Show. "You're setting the world on fire right now," Colbert said with a presumably undetected sense of urgency. "I'm having a lot of fun," Trump responded, while seemingly have no fun at all. "I think we're hitting some pretty good issues."
Though Colbert did manage to slide in an attempt at confronting Trump about his previous obsessions with the mindless task of questioning the legitimacy of President Barack Obama's birthplace, in addition to the hilarious suggestion that Trump add "fire and fireproof crocodiles" to his preposterous plans of a border wall, the strangest moment came when he offered the following:
"I want to apologize to you. I have said a few things about you over the years that in polite company are perhaps unforgivable. I hope you'll accept my apology."
Colbert then asked Trump if, by some Republican miracle, he had anyone in mind for an apology of his own. Predictably, Trump did not. Though it's quite possible Colbert's apology to Trump was merely a failed setup for Trump to maybe offer even a miniscule amount of remorse for the projectile vomit of stupidity for which he's grown increasingly famous, the entire encounter seemed a bit too safe. While Colbert's recent demand of his audience to not boo Ted Cruz during a recent Late Show debate on marriage equality was a classy move aimed at giving candidates on both sides an equal opportunity to at least explain their positions, Colbert's soft approach to a Trump interview seems to have very few redeeming traits.
We already have two Jimmys, Stephen. We certainly don't need a third.