Actual human being Donald Trump has finally agreed to appear on the new CBS landmark Late Show With Stephen Colbert, meaning he's probably forgiven Stephen for that whole wanting to dip his balls in Trump's mouth for charity thing. Colbert has been daring Trump to stop by for a highly tweetable conversation for months, including a very public plea in August:
The fateful encounter will occur on September 22, surely giving Stephen enough time to miraculously raise the satirical Colbert from (meta)death and absolutely eviscerate Trump by simply mirroring his own ridiculousness. Potential miracles notwithstanding, Colbert's first pair of Late Show episodes have shown a confident and reinvigorated comedian more than capable of eviscerating someone like Trump even without the familiar guise of satire.
Perhaps either version of Colbert could offer Trump some tips on successfully running a fake presidential campaign without tipping to complete and utter nihilism, a state of political tone deafness clearly mastered by Trump and used against statistically misguided voters. Just as a courtesy reminder, let's revisit those statistics again: The majority of potential voters currently "fueling" Trump's baffling candidacy "are (overwhelmingly but not limited to) white, Republicans with limited education." In a more visually interesting sense, Trump is to politics what too many Oreos are to one's personal health: diabetes.
Don't eat too many Oreos, Stephen. The nation (most of it?) is behind you.