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Ridley Scott, the man behind the undeniable classics Blade Runner and Alien (as well as the not-so-classic Exodus: Gods and Kings), has signed on to bring the critically acclaimed bestseller The Cartel from the pages to the screen via a script from Shane Salerno. The Cartel, written by Don Winslow, was initially released less than two months before Joaquín "El Chapo" Guzmán made his casual prison escape on July 11 — creating an intoxicating blend of fact and fiction which helped set fire to a major bidding war which came to a close on Wednesday night, according to The Hollywood Reporter.

Winslow's book, the follow-up to his 2005 novel The Power of the Dog, follows the intersecting paths of Art Keller and Adan Berrera over the span of ten years spent in the trenches of both the DEA and the Sonora drug cartel. Winslow spent roughly a decade extensively researching the intricacies of El Chapo's life, including his original 2001 prison escape in which the popular drug lord fled a prison via laundry cart.

Sadly, Scott's film will not be a dramatization of El Chapo possibly maybe (probably not) actively pursuing one Donald Trump following the professional troll's attempts at using his most recent prison escape as some sort of proof (spoiler alert: it proves nothing, troll) of the validity of his downright putrid thoughts on immigration. This is the part of the article where I again express disbelief at the fact that we all still live in a world where Donald Trump is not disaffectionately referred to as Donald Troll. Enjoy the 2016 campaign season, Republicans.