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To-do lists are a particularly private record of one's daily aspirations — a record of potential failures and successes intended to occur within 24 arbitrary hours. Australian police seem to disagree, even tweeting a photo of a recent search warrant victim's to-do list alongside the caption "Are ur Saturdays like this!!!" I don't know, Australian police, but stop screaming at me and maybe brush up on your punctuation chops.
Though this Time blurb is scarce on details, the police appear to have been "executing a search warrant" for something marijuana-related. The Australian took the trite route of a stoner joke (unspeakably lame), thereby missing the fact this guy's to-do list actually makes a far better poem about subsiding to the comfortable trappings of a post-everything existence.
We bring you "Things To Do Saturday" — The Best Poem of 2015.