Segues on late-night shows are rarely subtle, but we're going to forgive the blatant wires in this puppet act because the story is so great. Conan O'Brien asked Matthew Perry why there's only one photo of him and his The Odd Couple co-star Thomas Lennon. Perry said he hates photoshoots, and recalled what transpired after he did a shoot with the cast of Friends, ER, and a bunch of supermodels.

Said supermodels had Perry feeling bothered and hot, and somehow the star of one of America's most beloved sitcoms didn't have the game to hit on one of them. (Maybe they called him a Matthew Perry-looking bitch.) So he did what anyone not on Friends would do and went home to masturbate. We'll let Perry take the story from there so we don't ruin the magic of his hilarious disaster. But let's just say his home-viewing pleasure didn't stay in the home. 

Watch the Matthew Perry porn story above.