Location: 484 Union Ave., Williamsburg
Privacy: 8
Space: 8
Comfort: 6
Cleanliness: 3
Special (or kinky) feature: The thick layer of hipster grime and live music.

They wouldn't put a sign on the door limiting the bathrooms to one person at a time if they didn't have to. Fornication at Union Pool is the stuff of legend. If you've lived in Brooklyn in your twenties in the last decade, you've probably hit it in these bathrooms. The Union Pool's bathrooms may well prove to be the Chelsea Hotel of our generation. On busy nights, the dance floor here becomes such a meat market that trysting against the walls and on benches happens as freely as it does in the bathroom stalls. Be warned: it does get crowded in here, so feel free to pop down to The Woods and get it on in their stalls if Union Pool's are already occupied by amorous adventurers.