How you'll get busted: Carelessly ripping celebratory donuts in the parking lot after a first-quarter touchdown
Penalty: About $5,000 in court fees and the loss of your teaching job 

Public service announcements and stiff penalties have, thankfully, done a lot to curb drinking and driving, but the tailgate setting is nothing but pavement, alcohol, and heavy machinery. Naturally, every stadium has a Vince Neil aspirant or two who think it's a good idea to drive home after a dozen Miller Lite punch tops. It's always important to have a designated driver, but especially when you're tailgating. In the land of beer-buzzed NFL fans, the man who can back out of a parking space without putting their Chevy S10 in a ditch is king.