Played by: Bryan Cranston and Jane Kaczmarek

Hal and Lois were so into being intimate with each other that they stopped at nothing to get the boys out of the house for some alone time, and that includes Hal forking over a wallet full of credit cards to his son just for a moment with his wife.

By the series' end, the reason for the couple's insatiable sex drive became clear: They just wanted to have a baby girl (possibly to off-set the doofiness of their first four sons).