Cheated on: Silda Wall Spitzer
Secret lover(s): Ashley Dupre and various other hookers

Text messages found during a federal investigation of a prostitution ring called the Emperor's Club VIP revealed one thing about the the politician known as Client 9: dude loved hookers. Some of Spitzer's most memorable quotes involved the former NYC governor spouting shameful pick-up lines like "Do u download illegal mp3's?...I'm gonna pound you harder than I did Sony." Other messages revealed his repulsive obsession with condiments and his package, as he shared with hooker Sandra Buttocks, "You'll find out later but I can tell u this: it involves knives and ketchup. A LOT of ketchup. And a plaster-mold of my penis." Classy.