People who defend Don Mancini’s Chucky, the two-foot-tall Good Guy doll into which the spirit of voodoo-practicing serial killer Charles Lee Ray (Brad Dourif) is transferred, as a legitimately scary horror movie villain will explain that he uses black magic and the element of surprise to overpower much larger people.

Our counterargument: fuck outta here. Even if this snide little twerp possessed supernatural strength, he still weighs 5 lbs. at most. If you can be done in by that, well, you weren’t long for this earth anyway.