Network: Food Network
Stars: Giada De Laurentiis

Even if you've never cooked something outside of your microwave (no, putting your Hot Pocket in the oven so it gets extra crispy doesn't count), you'll enjoy Everyday Italian. Upon the sight of the scrumptious Giada De Laurentiis, even a half-starved man can become oblivious to his growling stomach.

Of course, Giada can cook (and cook well) and she can cheerfully walk you through concocting a veal saltimbocca, but the chances of you ever learning anything when her decollete looks so damn delicious are pretty slim. I mean, people have written haiku to those things:

A summer sausage
Mesmerized by olive breasts
Forgot what she baked


The colander rests
Filled with Spring pasta
- Is she lactating?

See, Giada's culinary pursuits inspire poetry! We rest our case.