The 15 Best Topless Moments In Mainstream Horror Movies

Why do women appear topless in horror movies so often? Hell if we know! Maybe it's meant to serve as a source of joy to offset all that spilled blood. Maybe it's just another method of raising our heart-rates and leaving us with sweaty palms, one of many delectable distractions on the filmmaker's buffet of taboo titillation. Too often, it's to offset a weak-ass plotline.

Really, we don't have any answers for you. Our aim here is not to contemplate, but appreciate the beautiful women who have confidently exposed themselves amidst bloodshed and despite the most trying, often supernatural, circumstances. Mentally unhinged murderer on the loose? Just another reason to let loose—or better yet, let them thangs loose!

In celebration of sexy Australian actress Anna Hutchison's perky pair making a memorable cameo in The Cabin in the Woods, director/co-writer Drew Goddard's phenomenal deconstruction of the horror genre, which features one of the best movie twists ever and already ranks as one of the greatest horror-comedies of all time, we've labored through dozens of disappointing bumps in the night to find the greatest reveals of all time. The result: The 15 Best Topless Moments In Mainstream Horror Movies. Sure, some are gratuitous, but does it really matter?

RELATED: The 50 Best Topless Beaches in the World

Written by Shanté Cosme (@ShanteCosme)

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Among the many things to appreciate about the deconstructionist horror-comedy The Cabin In The Woods is Australian beauty Anna Hutchinson.

We don't want to give too much away, but let's just say the Aussie doesn't feel the same. Jules (Hutchison) and her boo (Chris Hemsworth) take a little stroll in the woods (less to get in touch with nature and more so to touch each other) and sexy time starts when Hutchinson unbuttons her blouse. We'd love to tell you more, but we wouldn't want to spoil the kinky fun!

Juan (Steve Lemme) takes one for the team in this horror-comedy, when he plans to pump Penelope (Jordan Ladd) for information to discern if she's responsible for a recent string of murders on the island he's vacationing on.

When his serial killer investigation leads to Ladd whipping off her top, and doing a roundhouse right onto his crotch, he is understandably perplexed. "What the fuck are you, a praying mantis woman?" No idiot, she's just a gymanst! (Or as Juan finally says, "Yimnist.")

You know those extra-bouncy, girl-in-motion GIFs you love so much? Not one of those could compare to the beauty of Betsy Rue's topless sprinting skills in My Bloody Valentine 3D.

In order to avoid her murder at the hands of miner gone mad Harry Warden (Richard John Walters), Irene (Rue) graces us with her wobbling woman parts for several full, glorious minutes. We get what we want, but unfortunately for her, she finds death before she ever finds her top.

Ahhh, camping. An excuse to tell stories, roast marshmallows, and rub massage oil on your bare breasts by the campfire. Wait, what? That last part never goes down on our camping trips!

Alas, the tents at Jason's old stomping grounds, Crystal Lake, have a mysterious magic in the air that entice Amanda (America Olivo) to put on a little show for her boo behind the back of some dude who is yammering on about GPS devices, clueless that there are a very capable pair of satellites configured close by. Of course, the scene does nothing to forward the plot, but luckily for the filmmakers, gratuitous nudity is our favorite kind!

Lisa Bonet shows she's come a long way from her wholesome days as Denise Huxtable on The Cosby Show in this noir horror romp. Bonet plays frequently unclothed cutie Epiphany Proudfoot, who strangles chickens and bathes in their blood for fun (just kidding, it's actually some crazy voodoo thing).

Choking chickens aside, Bonet has a legit sexy scene where she gets frisky with detective Harry Angel (Mickey Rourke) and bears all while blood rains down from the ceiling onto her bare bod. The only thing that thwarts our pleasure? [SPOILER ALERT] Epiphany's hump subject turns out to be her father. Yes, this is one of those times where too much taboo is actually possible.

It's every man's dream to stumble upon a horny naked girl chillin' in the bathtub beckoning him to come hither, so we don't blame married man Jack Torrance (Jack Nicholson) for giving in when a ghost girl saunters out of that green tub completely nude in this Stanley Kubrick's classic fil adaptation of Stephen King's tale of horror.

Unfortunately for Jack, his bathing beauty decomposes in his arms mid-makeout sesh, leaving him groping a rotting corpse. Premature decaying aside, Beldam still makes Jack's life (and ours) far from dull with her fresh and clean foray in room 237.

Not long after her Who's the Boss days, Milano transformed a little movie called Embrace of the Vampire into an enormous cult hit thanks to her portrayal of virginal college chick Charlotte, who spends her days having freaky vampire fantasies. (Don't we all?)

Charlotte is lured away from her chaste ways not by the man-vamp, but by the female bloodsucker, who uses the ol' photo shoot excuse to peep the young girl's goods and cop a feel. It's subtle, but thanks to the awe-inspiring view Milano gives us, also seriously hot.

If nudity could be categorized as completely unnecessary (hint: it never can be), Jill Schoelen's suds-up scene would totally fit the bill. Young Jill drops her robe and steps into the shower, solely it seems, as an excuse to show us how hot she is. Which, of course, is fine by us.

Our glimpse of her is brief, a tease really, but the impression it has made on us still lingers.

Just when we thought graveyards could never be sexy (or legwarmers, for that matter) punked-out B-movie babe Linnea Quigley hit the scene.

Trash (Quigley) tears off her clothing piece by piece by piece, dramatically thrusting her hips as she dances on a tombstone to an awesomely campy rock song. It would all be so cheesy if it weren't so...hot.

Drew may be the queen of PG-13 movies these days, but in the early '90s she was an expert at showing her naughty side, and the most compelling evidence that she excelled at the task is Doppelganger.

In a very Carrie-esque scene, Holly Gooding (Barrymore) suds up in the shower and reveals herself in topless glory, only to have the moment interrupted by the water turning to blood. In an effort to save the sexiness of the scene, we repeat "it's only corn syrup with food dye" to ourselves as we watch it (over, and over, and over).

We had the joy of stumbling across Valerie Hartman's Sleepaway sex scene in our formative years, which means her frequently exposed breasts will be forever emblazoned in our memory. There are worse things to remember.

Hartman plays Ally, who casually flaunts her funbags to campers, and in her breakout boob scene, receives some oral attention from the mouth of a fellow camp counselor in a bathroom stall. [SPOILER ALERT] When transsexual killer Angela chides Ally, saying, "Nice girls don’t have to show it off," before offing her, we have to agree. But, hell, we absolutely appreciate when they do!

Natasha Henstridge is Sil, an incredibly enticing government manufactured human-alien hybrid who discards men after sex if they don't possess the perfect combination of DNA. So yes, she's like most women you've dated, but instead of dumping your disappointing ass post-coitus, she'll murder you.

Henstridge is shamelessly naked for a slew of scenes throughout the flick, but our favorite is when she thumps an overeager Alfred Molina and freaks him out with talk of being insta-knocked-up: "Don't you believe me? Feel!" [SPOILER ALERT] The good news is, she sprouts claws from her back shortly after, and her still-grinning suitor hears no more (because she kills him).

Seventies scream queen extraordinaire P.J. Soles is never lovelier than when her character Lynda dons a pair of pigtails and taunts us (and inadvertently Micheal Myers) with a short yet very memorable glimpse of her perky chesticles, asking, "See anything you like?"

Unfortunately for her, Micheal does see something he likes and strangles her after the brief boob flash, presumably because he wants the moment to last forever.

We could tell you about how amazing Julianna Guill looks sans-clothing, in her full-blown, girl-on-top sex scene, but it would be better to just let the lucky bastard she's on top of do the talking.

A description of Guill's greatest assets, a.k.a. three reasons you need to see this movie, according to him:

If that doesn't convince you, we don't know what could.

It might to be hard to imagine Susan Sarandon as a P.Y.T., but if you need evidence, look no further than The Hunger. Nubile she-vamp Miriam (Catherine Deneuve at her sexiest) seduces Sarah (Sarandon), who uses a little spilled wine (on her white shirt, no less) as an excuse to do a little strip tease.

Deneuve pounces on Sarandon (who is sprawled across the bed for her your viewing pleasure) and her mouth serves as the tour guide for Sarandon's twin peaks. It's a moment so memorable that not even the gauzy light and opera soundtrack can take away from the steaminess of it all.