9. Ringer

Network: The CW
Stars: Sarah Michelle Gellar, Ioan Gruffudd, Nestor Carbonell, Mike Colter, Kristoffer Polaha, Tara Summers

Can you blame us for awaiting The CW’s Ringer with heightened excitement? On one end, there was the show’s lofty concept, which follows a sexy blonde ex-stripper as she ducks mobsters by posing as her supposedly deceased twin sister—neo-noir mixed with a dash of Twin Peaks. As for who’d play the former pole dancer? Sarah Michelle Gellar, returning to primetime television, and reigniting fan-boys’ collective passion, eight years after Buffy The Vampire Slayer’s final episode.

Amidst all of that potential, however, we ignored the fact that Ringer is on The CW, a brutal omission that has since bit us in the proverbial ass. The initial noir premise quickly gave way to the kinds of hammy acting and overdone melodrama that typically pervade daytime soaps. Which is to say, Ringer is more Gossip Girl than The Vampire Diaries (the latter being a syrupy CW program that’s actually good, believe it or not).