The Mainline

1 part stout
1 part malt liquor

Pump the breaks, kid—this recipe has actual instructions. Fill a glass halfway with malt liquor. Then, place a spoon atop the mouth of the glass and slowly add the stout. You won't get the layered effect you get with a Black Velvet (a stout poured over champagne) but you'll look great while you do it. No one you're with will have ever seen a 40 consumed like this.

The stout nearly squashes the taste of the 40. The finish is a bit like cigarettes, but in a good way.