In director Jason Reitman’s critical darling, Juno MacGuff (Ellen Page) commits such grievances as getting pregnant while in high school, talking on a hamburger telephone, and saying ridiculously corny and unrealistic shit like “Will you be the cheese to my macaroni?” But here’s the crazy part: In our eyes, she’s not even the movie’s most wayward lady.

That honor goes to Juno’s righthand gal Leah, played by the insanely cute Olivia Thirlby. Though Leah uses slang that’s just as lame (“Honest to blog”—who says that?), her scandalous nature manifests the strongest in her choice of men. Instead of meathead jocks, Juno’s cheerleader friend crushes on older men, namely a fifty-something English teacher who resembles a darker-bearded Colonel Sanders. Not only is her sexual preference illegal, Leah’s flirtations with elder professors also deprives her horny male peers the chance to be the hot dog to her buns. Ms. MacGuff couldn’t have said it better herself.

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