And here we were thinking the best part of All-Star Weekend was Kryptonite Robinson shouting out Call of Duty, but that's only because we weren't there for all the industry fuckery. Not only did Suge get laid out all over again, but our dude Kid Cudi got buckwild at a Reebok event. Not only did he get buckwild, but he got tased. Yes, tased, as in tens of thousands of volts coursing through his body.
As he said on his own blog, "that shit hurt." You don't say. But it did get us thinking about the the glorious history of tasering people for minor offenses, so we put together a shocking little list for you. Shocking! Ahahahahaha. Shut up.
ERIK ESTRADA, WEE MAN, JACK OSBOURNE, LATOYA JACKSON and TRISH STRATUS
• From the utterly ridiculous reality-celebrity-cop show Armed and Famous. Bonus points for Trish's fauxgasm at the end there. We'd hit her with our probes anytime.
DON'T TASE ME, BRO!
• Classic. "Directing high-pitched complaints to the police detaining you" should be on Stuff White People Like. The now-famous phrase comes in at 1:54.
TO TASE A PREDATOR
• Which is worse: being exposed on television for propositioning a preteen, or being tased into quivering submission on the front lawn shortly thereafter?
TASERING THE DRUNK HARDLY SEEMS FAIR
• We're not huge fans of cops with tasers, but this is incredible. Never underestimate alcohol x white trash.
SOMEONE GET THIS MAN AN ENDORSEMENT DEAL
• This dude got hit with a grenade when he was a Marine and walked it off. You know what stops him? A fuckin' TASER, bro.