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With every curse comes a gift.
By now, Lil B’s curse on Kevin Durant is pretty well known. Durant dissed Lil B, and Lil B responded with a claim that Durant would never win an NBA title. Recently, the curse has been discussed on ESPN, NPR, and anywhere else that rap and basketball fans reside.
But how did it all start? How is it still going? How does Lil B have enough influence and power to cast a curse that stays effective? Simple: by remaining #based.
As Lil B gains more and more attention for cursing one NBA player, his contributions to other superstars are going unnoticed. In fact, Lil B has led several other NBA players to championships of their own by expressing his support and giving them a Based God blessing. The Based God giveth, and the Based God taketh away.
Here’s a timeline of how Lil B has influenced many of the major moments in recent NBA history.
2010
LeBron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers have just been eliminated from the playoffs by the Boston Celtics. James is coming under more criticism than any athlete has ever experienced. He can’t win the big game. He’s a choke artist. He disappears in the playoffs.
With LeBron out again, it is easy for haters to attack him and align themselves with the current champion, Kobe Bryant. But Lil B chooses to compare himself to the championship-less LeBron instead of Kobe.
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While Lil B believes he is the LeBron of rap, and that he will overcome his recent losses and eventually claim a championship, he also recognizes the current undeniable talent of Bryant. Lil B releases a song for him.
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The next day Kobe leads the Lakers to a thrilling win in game 7 of the NBA Finals. The Lakers win the championship.
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A few weeks later, LeBron James leaves Cleveland to join the Miami Heat.
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This makes Lil B happy and brings the Based God’s attention back to the NBA. Under Lil B’s watch, LeBron James goes to four straight NBA Finals with the Heat.
2011
The NBA is back on Lil B’s radar, and Lil B’s musical audience is exploding. In February, the Based God is named one of XXL’s 2011 Freshmen. In July he releases his critically acclaimed album I’m Gay.
But not all critics believe in Lil B, and whenever a positive movement is taking place there will always be skeptics. Kevin Durant is one of them.
Like any great saga, it starts with a tweet.
Kevin Durant, fresh off a 40 point night and a win against the Washington Wizards, listens to some Lil B and doesn’t like it. Durant publicly insults Lil B.
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Being the historical online figure that he is, Lil B immediately catches wind of Durant’s displeasure, and offers to settle it on the court. KD obliges.
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The trash talk is friendly, and Lil B comes away from the confrontation the only way he knows how: positive.
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But the game never happens. There is a communication breakdown that leaves Lil B agitated. He warns Durant, and eventually Lil B does something that will change the makeup of the NBA forever. Lil B puts a curse on Kevin Durant.
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What is Durant doing the night the curse is cast? Cleaning out his locker. The Thunder just lost to the Dallas Mavericks in the Western Conference finals.
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June 2012
The next year, Kevin Durant and the Thunder lose in the NBA Finals to LeBron James and the Lil B-backed Miami Heat. Durant plays well, but it’s hard to focus on a physical challenge in front of you when a completely different attack is happening mentally. The Thunder lose in five games, and one of the greatest memes of this generation is born.
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To the uninitiated, it should be noted that this curse of Kevin Durant is somewhat of an anomaly in Based World. Lil B is usually a proponent for positivity. He has given us emojis, taught lessons to our mothers, and created the most positive song of all time. Lil B loves you. Lil B is your friend.
If Lil B was going to gain this much attention from something negative, it was only a matter of time before he did something positive to balance it all out. Lil B needed to inject some of his Basedness into another entity to balance out the juju. He chose his struggling hometown team, the Golden State Warriors.
October 2012
The Golden State Warriors are coming off a dismal 23-43 season in 2011-2012, and their affiliate in the NBA Development League is holding open tryouts. Who shows up to the tryouts to support his local bay area teams? Lil B.
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That season the Warriors go 47-35, and the team has improved every year under Lil B’s support.
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March 2014
Lil B keeps quiet for a while, and even tries to lift the curse on KD. However, we’re starting to learn just how powerful a Based God’s curse can really be. A battle of hearts takes place within Lil B, but he realizes that he can never truly forgive Kevin Durant for calling Lil B a wack rapper. Lil B reinforces the curse.
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A month later Lil B drops a personal “Ether” with “Fuck KD.”
Two weeks after the release of “Fuck KD,” Lil B is featured on an NBA TV commercial calling out Kevin Durant.
Durant is undoubtably shook, and to make things worse, Lil B throws a cosign to the Thunder’s rival, the San Antonio Spurs.
On April 18th, two days before the start of the 2013-2014 NBA Playoffs, Lil B tweets out his support for the Spurs.
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The Spurs go on to defeat Kevin Durant and the Thunder in the Western Conference finals, and end the season by defeating the Heat for their fifth championship.
October 2014
It’s a well known fact that curses grow stronger with time. The longer a curse exists, the deeper it settles into its victim. After a few years of listening to loyal members of Lil B’s Task Force remind him daily about the curse, Durant speaks up.
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Bad luck? You think so? Three questions? In a tweet? Someone sounds unsure of themselves. Someone sounds like they’re maybe starting to believe in the Based God’s curse. Someone sounds ready to break.
With all of this pressure mounting, it took only a few more months for the curse to get physical.
March 2015
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Durant misses most of the 2014-2015 NBA season after undergoing season-ending surgery.
May 2015
At the time of this posting, the Golden State Warriors are up 3-0 on the Houston Rockets in the Western Conference Finals. In the East, LeBron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers are up 3-0 on the Atlanta Hawks. The Finals are all but set. Lil B was ready for this matchup five years ago.
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The Warriors are the higher seed and have home court advantage, so now LeBron really will need to come to Oakland.
Present Day
So what does it all mean? Well, for starters, it means James Harden’s best course would be to tread lightly. Lil B just ended Harden’s season, he should try and limit it to that. Why risk it? Smart teams are starting to go on the offensive and seek a Based God Blessing. One could also go through the list of rappers that Lil B has vanquished to see that messing with the Based God is ill-advised.
As for Kevin Durant, it’s obvious what needs to happen for him to break the curse and win a championship. Durant needs to beat Lil B in a game of basketball.
Michael Jordan had to overcome the Pistons to win his first championship. LeBron couldn’t get past the Celtics during his early years in Cleveland. Every NBA legend comes across an opponent that holds them down for years, until finally the student becomes the master. Lil B is Kevin Durant’s master until the two settle the dispute like it was agreed upon over four years ago, on the court.
Be smart KD, you have the power to end this. Play Lil B in 2015.
UPDATE: January 18, 2016 – Warriors beat Cavs by 34. Lil B smiles.
