The Types of People You Meet at a Rave

Do you remember your first rave? The joy and astonishment that you couldn't clean off of your face. The pounding bass. The flashing lights. You truly EXPERIENCED something, right? Now you're a vet. And when you see that newbie, don't mark on them for the way they try to assimilate fashion-wise. Let a bro-in-training be a bro-in-training, and remember what it was like to pop your rave cherry.

It's common to wear backpacks when you hit raves and festivals; you need a place to stash your cigarettes, water, and whatever assorted trinkets you need to survive an all-day rager. There are those types who definitely love the music, but aside from a bottle of water, they have stacks of flyers for their party, which happens to be going down up the block tonight/next week/next month/at the end of the summer. You gotta respect their hustle, but you just wish the walk out of the rave on grounds covered in flyers people didn't give a fuck about.

There's always that guy who is a little TOO focused on what the DJ is doing, to the point where he's barely dancing. He's just staring at the DJ, or trying to get an eye on his labels/Serato to see what tracks are playing. They might travel in groups of two, commenting and giggling on the tracks that the DJ is playing. They are also the first people that get asked "WHAT IS THE SONG THAT IS PLAYING?!?!" Most of them are DJs in their own right, and will let you know when the DJ has fucked up, or if this tune will be out anytime soon.

Maybe this kid is a blogger. Maybe he just NEEDS to preserve the moment. There are too many of you out these kids claiming to be all about the music but only seeing it through their cellphone cameras. You need all of your senses to enjoy a great set (well, almost all of them), and you know you can't be having a good time if you're only watching it through that tiny-ass screen.

Now this kid IS a blogger. You know because he's carrying free t-shirts with his logo on it, while passing out stickers with his logo on it, walking up to talent saying "hey, I'm Blogger Guy from [insertURLhere] dot com!" Their delusions of grandeur are cute, but their overbearing personalities can be annoying.

Laugh all you want at people comparing the 1960s hippie scene to the dance music scene. The drugs, coupled with counter-culture music and massive gatherings, have a lot to do with those stereotypes (and the EDC coming to Woodstock won't help that talk die down). In any case, hippies love hanging out with like-minded music lovers, and can be coaxed into digging some of the more dub-wise dubstep sounds.

If you're a little scruffy, or rock clothes that are more "hip-hop" than "raver," you will probably get asked if you're holding. And by holding, we mean baggies of weed or pills. Yes, in 2013 there are still kids who have no problem forking over funds to cop drugs at raves, not knowing what people could be selling them.

Now, it's one thing to LOOK like a drug dealer. It's another thing to BE that drug dealer. The one who kind of looks out of place. Always looking around, walking past random strangers saying "weed" or "pills." Making sure your sneakers are tied tight just in case security wants to give chase. It's probably a great market for buyers, but sheesh. And with more mainstream eyes on the scene, expect a diminished number of dope peddlers at your favorite venues.

We're not one to harsh anyone's mellow, nor are we your parents. Party responsibly. The thing is, you puking your McDonald's on the dancefloor because you decided to pre-game before having lunch is the worst. And no, we can't see whatever hallucinations you're freaking out over. Know how to control whatever you're doing to your mind and body, or stay home and have a party-of-one to some of the best mixes from that week.

That big brolic dude in the yellow shirt? He's not your friend. He's here to protect you and the people around you, and put a stop to any illegal activity he sees. He's doing his job, and if you step out of line, he probably has license to fuck your shit up if need be. Be cool, and be nice. Don't call him a "toy cop pig motherfucker." That will only encourage him to go ham if you even look like you're thinking about drugs. And don't you know there are TSA agents working raves now? You want your passport jacked up trying to be a comedian?

He could be someone's dad. He could be that 50-year-old who just can't stop rocking to house music. Whatever the case may be, he's that old guy hanging around youth culture that you half respect, and are totally wary of. He's old enough to kidnap your girl and show her a "good time," and can legit cop you and your homies beer. But do you truly want him hanging around, doing old man dances? Especially when he ISN'T in the VIP?

You know the type; these jokers more than likely got into dubstep when someone in their frat got passed a link to some Skrillex on YouTube and haven't looked back since. They love to party (as most bros do) and have no problem getting into the "free" lifestyle that raves provide, although you won't see them in the rooms or areas with more complex styles of dance music. See, formulaic EDM is made for bros and for women (not necessarily in that order), so if it doesn't have a huge "drop," you won't find a bro in sight.

The funniest thing about the whistle massive at raves is that they're always heard, but rarely seen. And they're always there, be it blaring during a particularly intense set or during the lulls. Whistles were huge in the UK, where many an old recording of live DJ sets contains whistles (and if you're lucky, horns), forever ready to show their appreciation for a particular song or DJ. Maybe they are the rave officials?