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Hip-hop has always prided itself on being ahead of the curve: the unreleased car, next season's fashion, phones from the future. The problem with being so on-point is that it's hard to stay afloat when waves move so quickly. In two years, heads have gone from rocking fitted caps to snapbacks to bucket hats, with weathermen predicting du-rags on the horizon (again).
While PT Cruisers and Pepsi Blue may come and go, lyrics are forever. Complex takes a look back at the most regrettable lines of years past, revealing a graveyard of technology and a crypt of pop-culture references that haunt our present, in 50 Rap Lyrics That Sound Incredibly Outdated Today.
Written by Eric and Jeff Rosenthal (@ItsTheReal)
RELATED: The 25 Worst Annotations on Rap Genius
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50. "So I can put the top down, and we can 'Cruise' (Cruz) like Tom and Penelope"
Artist: Fabolous
Song: "Trade It All (Pt 2)"
Album: Ghetto Fabolous
Year: 2003
It seemed like a match made in tabloid heaven: Tom Cruise, fresh from his divorce from Nicole Kidman; Penelope Cruz, one of the hottest women in the world. They were the new Brangelina: "Cruisze." Three years later, the couple -- just like their promotions for "Vanilla Sky" -- were over and done with.
49. "No Bull shit, n***a, no Ben Gordon"
Artist: Lil' Wayne
Song: "Throw it in the Bag (Remix)"
Album: No Ceilings
Year: 2009
Ever since he left as a free agent for the Detroit Pistons, and then the Charlotte Bobcats, it really is no Bulls shit for Ben Gordon.
48. "You wanna make noise, make noise/I make a phone call my n***s comin' like the Gotti boys"
Artist: Dr. Dre
Song: "Let Me Ride"
Album: The Chronic
Year: 1992
While Dre was obviously talking about the infamous and untouchable mob head, John Gotti, back in 1992, he could have never imagined that a mere 20 years later, the Gotti legacy would be reduced and redefined by John's hair-gelled grandsons, the precursors to Pauly D, on the reality show, "Growing Up Gotti."
47. "Fa shizzle dizzle, it's the big Neptizzle/With the Snoopy D-O-Double Gizzle!"
Artist: Pharrell
Song: Snoop Dogg's "From Da Chuuuch to Da Palace"
Album: Paid tha Cost to Be da Bo$$
Year: 2002
I'm-izzle so-izzle happy-izzle peopizzle stopped-izzle doing this-izzle.
46. "Givin' it up to T-Boz and Mack 10 for doing it/this ain't nothing but a gangsta reunion"
Artist: Shade Sheist
Song: "Where I Wanna Be"
Album: Informal Introduction
Year: 2000
Shade Sheist may have been a kinda-one-hit-wonder, but this is one super catchy one-hit-wonder, thanks to the late, great Nate Dogg! It's still a really fun summer song that everyone loves. Everyone. Well, everybody besides T-Boz and Mack 10, whose marriage was celebrated in the song... and completely fell apart faster than Shade Sheist's career.
45. "It's not even close, leave it alone/I'm Michael Jordan, I play for the team I own"
Artist: Jay-Z
Song: "The Best of Both Worlds"
Album: The Best of Both Worlds
Year: 2002
This wouldn't make as good an analogy as it once did: "I'm Michael Jordan, I have a mustache that's weirdly similar to Hitler's and I advertise Hanes underwear."
44. "We drive Bentley's and Jags (What?), 'vettes and bikes (What?)/Two Mercedes Wagons, with kits and lights (What?)/Excursions and Prowlers (What?)"
Artist: Baby
Song: Big Tymers' "Big Tymers"
Album: I Got That Work
Year: 2000
The Big Tymers album was called "I Got That Work." Similarly, everyone who used to work for Plymouth, briefly making Prowlers, is out of work. Or was. That was a very long time ago; they've probably landed on their feet, right?
43. "When you least on point, putting your keys in the door/Behind you with your seeds in KB Toys store"
Artist: Nas
Song: "Star Wars"
Album: Illmatic 10th Anniversary Edition
Year: 2004
That line is closed for business.
42. "Load the three power, hop in the Eddie Bauer."
Artist: Jadakiss
Song: Ma$e's "24 Hours to Live"
Album: Harlem World
Year: 1997
It's hard to imagine Jada climbing in anything less than the limited edition back in 1997, then again, it was difficult to imagine him in a shiny suit. But even if Jadakiss did have 24 hours to live today, he wouldn't be caught dead in a Ford Explorer Eddie Bauer edition.
41. "Seen Paid In Full, now I'm in Blockbuster/And I'm paid in full still on the block, buster"
Artist: Cam'ron
Song: "Dead Motherfuckers"
Album: Diplomatic Immunity 2
Year: 2004
There's a Blockbuster a few blocks away from my apartment, but I have no idea what's inside of it. Is it just empty shelves, with the occassional tumbleweed blowing past the aisle that Mars Attacks! is in?
40. "You know me, with a skull belt and wallet chain/Shop Boyz, rock stars, yeah we bout to change the game"
Artist: Shop Boyz
Song: "Party Like a Rockstar"
Album: Rockstar Mentality
Year: 2007
1995 called... and said don't worry about it returning the wallet chains, no one ever wore them past 1996. And you can keep the Shop Boyz too, thanks.
39. "I just do this shit for my click like Adam Sandler"
Artist: Lil' Wayne
Song: "3 Peat"
Album: Tha Carter III
Year: 2008
An actual quote from Adam Sandler's 2006 movie, Click: "I have to sew the duck's head back on and fix his butthole." Surprisingly, it didn't do well with critics.
38. "And I was almost famous, now everybody love Kanye/I'm almost Raymond"
Artist: Kanye West
Song: "Last Call"
Album: College Dropout
Year: 2004
"Everybody Loves Raymond" - an extremely popular show on CBS in the early Aughts - feels so long ago. It was before Alexis. Before Amber. Before Taylor. Before "George Bush hates White People." Before the EMAs. Back when just about everyone loved Kanye-mond.
37. "Mr. Media, look inside your encyclopedia"
Artist: Ice Cube
Song: "Fuck Dying"
Album: War & Peace Vol. 1 (The War Disc)
Year: 2002
Do they still make encyclopediae? Actually, don't bother answering: I'll look it up on the Internet.
36. "In your just-came-from-the-gym clothes/In a fitted cap and some Timbo's/And a pair of flats, well trimmed toes/Camera in the mirror, BBM Pose/Still killin em hoes"
Artist: Fabolous
Song: "You Be Killin' Em"
Album: There Is No Competition 2
Year:
Dear Apple, you be killing BlackBerry.
35. "Khakis on my leg, Lugz on my feet/I'm walkin up the street while boppin my feet"
Artist: Snoop Doggy Dogg
Song: Snoop Doggy Dogg ft/ JD "We Just Wanna Party With You"
Album: Men In Black Soundtrack
Year: 1997
Lugz were the poor man's Timberland boot, made by the British Knights people, and were only notable because they were endorsed by Birdman, Fat Joe and Funk Flex ad nauseum. So, you know, shout out to anyone who ever wanted to dress like one of those three guys.
34. "Yellow Viper, yellow Hummer, yellow Benz/Yellow PT Cruiser, yellow 'Lac on rims/Drop yellow 'Vette and a platinum Rolls Royce"
Artist: Juvenile
Song: Lil' Wayne feat. Hot Boys and Mannie Fresh "Shine"
Album: Lights Out
Year: 2000
BREAKING NEWS FROM TWITTER: the PT Cruiser signed to Cash Money.
33. "Ohh I think they like me"
Artist: Dem Franchize Boyz
Song: "I Think They Like Me"
Album: On Top of Our Game
Year: 2005
If Dem Franchize Boyz wore their emotions on their sleeves, they'd have some pretty sad XXXXXXXL white tee shirts today, because their amazingly-titled 2005, "Oh I Think They Like Me" might have been wishful thinking.
32. "Heat up the clutch, 750 Deluxe"
Artist: Lil' Kim
Song: "Crush on You"
Album: Hard Core
Year: 1997
The 1990s: when BMW stopped making the 750 Deluxe and Lil' Kim stopped making hits.
31. "You gotta learn to hold ya own/They get jealous when they see ya with ya mobile phone"
Artist: 2Pac
Song: "Changes"
Album: Greatest Hits
Year: 1998
"Whoa, that guy has a cellular telephone! He's probably famous." -- No one.
30. "And I don't reply to most BBMs, so when you see an R, don't be trippin'."
Artist: Wale
Song: "Tatts On My Arm"
Album: N/A
Year: 2011
This song was released less than one year ago, and is already unbelievably outdated. While they were once thought of as phones and conduits to play Brickbreaker, BlackBerrys have become America's favorite doorstop. Don't be trippin' when you step over them.
29. "Y'all in the game, but y'all can't ball like Chicago centers"
Artist: Jay-Z
Song: Timbaland's "Lobster & Scrimp"
Album: Tim's Bio: Life from the Bassment
Year: 1998
If Jay was the Michael Jordan of rap, it makes sense to put down the other players who couldn't ball. It's anyone's guess as to who the Bill Cartwrights, Luc Longleys, and Bill Wenningtons were, but the fact is: it's a Joakim Noah world now!
27. "Only dudes moving units: Em, Pimp Juice, and us"
Artist: Jay-Z
Song: "Excuse Me Miss"
Album: The Blueprint 2: The Gift and the Curse
Year: 2003
The only people moving units in the music industry in 2012 are executives putting their belongings in packing boxes.
26. "F to the A-B, it's in the May-B, rollin' with my baby/Grippin' on a toy that you won't find at KB"
Artist: Fabolous
Song: "Breathe"
Album: Real Talk
Year: 2004
This reference isn't just dated, it's liquidated. You won't find any toys at KB, since the chain store went out of business in 2009. Good luck trying to return that toy, Fab!
25. "Get caught, bail out, po'-po' I tell 'em holla/In court I never show up, like Austin Powers fa-zha"
Artist: Ludacris
Song: "Number One Spot"
Album: The Red Light District
Year: 2005
No.
24. "Who wants to be a millionaire, me, and you ain't got no more life lines"
Artist: Roscoe P. Coldchain
Song: Clipse f/ Pharrell, Ab-Liva and Roscoe P. Coldchain "Cot' Damn"
Album: The Neptunes Present: Clones
Year: 2003
Roscoe P. Coldchain... you are the weakest link. Goodbye!
23. "N***a get the phone book look up in the yellow page/Lemme tell you how we finna get paid"
Artist: stic.man
Song: Dead Prez f/ Jay-Z "Hell Yeah (Pimp the System) (Remix)"
Album: Revolutionary But Gangsta
Year: 2004
Can you believe they still make phone books, today? I see them sometimes in my apartment building, but no one picks them up. They just sit and rot. To think that millions of trees are cut down just so that Ed's Lawnmowing & Hair Care can spend their advertising budget.
22. "Hip-Hop is dead"
Artist: Nas
Song: "Hip-Hop is Dead"
Album: Hip Hop is Dead
Year: 2006
What an overblown statement designed to sell records or something. There are many things that have died in the past six years -- the idea that Nas writes all of his own material, for example -- but crazily enough, hip-hop is still alive and kicking.
21. "There's a new Tower Records about to stop and get a fill-up/Pick the new Cypress Hill up"
Artist: Eminem
Song: D-12 f/ B-Real "American Psycho"
Album: D12 World
Year: 2004
A business called Tower Records used to reside in a physical space where a consumer could pay for the privilege to own goods, like records, or CDs. Records and CDs used to be physical forms of media that would contain melodic compositions by artists, called music. Music used to be a viable business.
20. "Mami threw it like a quaterback, I caught that like Rice/I call Mami Montana"
Artist: Jay-Z
Song: Jay-Z and R. Kelly "Take You Home with Me"
Album: The Best of Both Worlds
Year: 2002
The good: Jay's reference points are Hall of Fame players. The bad: Mami isn't so sexy anymore, thanks to post-traumatic arthritis, a form of degenerative joint disease, elbow surgery, and back surgery.
19. "Put this in your CD-ROM/www dot Canibus dot com"
Artist: Canibus
Song: Common's "Making a Name for Ourselves"
Album: One Day It'll All Make Sense
Year: 1997
Canibus has never sounded more like my grandmother.
18. "Come through wit' her, she drivin that Lumina/I'm not even thinkin bout screwin her/Let alone pursuing her"
Artist: Cam'Ron
Song: "What Means the World to U"
Album: S.D.E.
Year: 2000
Chevrolet ceased production of the Lumina back in 2001. It was an old person's car when Cam wrote the song in 2000, which would make the driver of a Lumina in 2012 ancient. It's no wonder Cam didn't chase ol' girl then, and a no brainer why he wouldn't today.
17. "Super Nintendo, Sega Genesis/When I was dead broke, man I couldn't picture this"
Artist: The Notorious B.I.G.
Song: "Juicy"
Album: Ready to Die
Year: 1994
The only thing that could make this quote more 1994 would be if Biggie also mentioned Nancy Kerrigan.
16. "I go to TRL, look how many hugs I get"
Artist: Eminem
Song: "White America"
Album: The Eminem Show
Year: 2002
TRL (MTV's Total Request Live) was an audience-supported video countdown show that helped grow pop stars through the early to mid-2000's, including Britney Spears, Jessica Simpson, *NSYNC, and Eminem. Hosted by Carson Daly, the show packed screaming teens and tweens into MTV's Times Square studio space, and ran until 2008. MTV has changed immensely since then - in fact, they barely show music on Music Television - and it's sad, mostly because one wonders where Eminem could possibly go for a hug today.
15. "Hop out, looking crispy, fresh and new / in the 6, but it's a BM, and it's Pepsi Blue"
Artist: Jadakiss
Song: "Time's Up"
Album: Kiss of Death
Year: 2004
Lasting only two years (2002-2004), Pepsi Blue was supposed to be a berry-tasting cola, similar to a cotton candy taste. Luckily for whoever created this dud, more people associate a hard landing for a soft drink with its disastrous forbearer, Crystal Pepsi. People remember Crystal Pepsi; no one remembers Pepsi Blue... besides Jadakiss.
14. "Sixty inch screen, LaserDisc with the beam"
Artist: AZ
Song: The Firm f/ Dawn Robinson "Firm Biz"
Album: The Firm: The Album
Year: 1997
More difficult than getting The Firm back together: getting AZ to spit about laser discs with a straight face. Laser Eye Correction > Laser Cats > Major Lazer > Laser Pens > Laser Discs.
13. "Your screen saver say Tweet, so you got to call me"
Artist: Kanye West
Song: "Get 'Em High"
Album: College Dropout
Year: 2004
Obviously thanks to Twitter, "Tweet" has a much different connotation today than it did just eight years ago, and in "Get 'Em High," Kanye's referring to the singer of "Call Me," Tweet. But even if Twitter didn't exist, the fact is that neither does the one-hit wonder singer Tweet.
12. "MTV is runnin' this rap shit/Viacom is runnin' this rap shit/AOL and Time Warner runnin' this rap shit"
Artist: Mos Def
Song: "The Rape Over"
Album: The New Danger
Year: 2004
Not one of these companies have anything to do with this rap shit anymore.
11. "Actually, anything you got to ask me, fax me"
Artist: Mase
Song: "Wanna Hurt Mase?"
Album: Harlem World
Year: 1997
This seems like an incredibly slow way of responding to a question. Not only did faxing take for-ev-er, but you always had to do it a million times: the first attempt, someone would always accidentally interrupt the request because they thought it was an incoming phone call. Then the paper would be turned the wrong way, it would be blurry, it would go to the wrong number, and you'd eventually throw your fax machine out the window and never get your question answered.
10. "Beep me 911 or call me on my cell phone/I'll call you back to see what you gon' tell me"
Artist: Missy Elliott
Song: "Beep Me 911"
Album: Supa Dupa Fly
Year: 1997
1997: "Beep Me 911." 2012: "Send smoke signals. In the dark."
9. "I had the brew, she had the chronic/The Lakers beat the SuperSonics"
Artist: Ice Cube
Song: "It Was a Good Day"
Album: The Predator
Year: 1993
It's not just that the Sonics left Seattle in 2008, moved to Oklahoma City, became the Thunder and built a powerhouse program. It's that when Cube wrote "It Was a Good Day," the Lakers winning wasn't a sure thing. Today, with a starting lineup consisting of Steve Nash, Kobe Bryant, Metta World Peace, Pau Gasol, and Dwight Howard, the Lakers will always have Good Days, cause they're never losing again.
8. "No need for alarm/Right now I'm cruising to the sounds of my enhanced CD-ROM"
Artist: Busta Rhymes
Song: "Fire It Up/Turn It Up (Remix)"
Album: When Disaster Strikes
Year: 1998
There's some real problems with this statement: 1.) Busta Rhymes is listening to an enhanced CD-ROM, in his car, even though it would only work in his computer. 2.) From what I remember, enhanced CD-ROMs weren't really for music, until DualDiscs came much later oh my god I am boring myself while reminiscing about OfficeMax.
7. "And although it seems heaven-sent/We ain't ready to see a Black President"
Artist: 2Pac
Song: "Changes"
Album: Greatest Hits
Year: 1998
Barack Obama was elected the 44th President of the United States of America, on November 4, 2008. He was sworn in on January 20, 2009. He is the first African American to serve as President in this nation's history. Of course 2pac wouldn't know this; he's been living in Cuba.
6. "Death Row is the label that pays me/Unfadable, so please don't try to fade this"
Artist: Snoop Doggy Dogg
Song: Dr. Dre's "Nothing but a G Thang"
Album: The Chronic
Year: 1992
Death Row Records was once a powerhouse record label, run by Suge Knight and home to Snoop Doggy Dogg, Dr. Dre, and Tupac Shakur, among others. Death Row filed for bankruptcy in 2006, and in 2009 was auctioned off. Similarly, in 2012, Snoop Dogg cashed in his name's value, turned into a reggae singer, and rechristened himself as Snoop Lion.
5. "Public visitation, we met at Borders/told her take me back, I'll be more supportive"
Artist: Kanye West
Song: "All of the Lights"
Album: My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy
Year: 2010
Apparently, the presiding judge was not book smart - Borders bookstores filed for bankruptcy in 2011, liquidating all of their assets and shuttering all their stores. But however bad Kanye's relationship was, Borders got the worse of it: today Borders.com automatically redirects to Barnes & Noble's website. Oof.
4. "I drive fastly, call me Jeff Gordon"
Artist: Nelly
Song: "E.I."
Album: Country Grammar
Year: 2000
Much like Nelly, Jeff Gordon used to dominate his field, but has significantly tailed off. Gordon, who's made more than $100 million over his career, was the poster boy for stock car racing in the mid-nineties, but in the last five years, he's driven in the right-hand lane, racking up more Did Not Finish-es (10) than wins (5).
3. "Check to spell it: r-e-f-u-g-e-e/Get the CD from Sam Goody, he-he"
Artist: Wyclef Jean
Song: "We Trying to Stay Alive"
Album: The Carnival
Year: 1997
Sam Goody was a store where CDs could be bought for upwards of twenty dollars. Now-a-days, millions of mp3s could be stolen for just a fraction of that price!
2. "Wanna call back all my numbers-star 6-9 me/Check my car for rubbers, but quit tryin"
Artist: Nas
Song: "You Won't See Me Tonight"
Album: I Am...
Year: 1999
Kids, put down your Wikipedias and gather 'round. This is a story of a land before cell phones -- before Caller ID, even. There was this service called 'Star 6-9', where you'd punch those digits into your phone and -- for a small fee -- you'd be able to find out the last call received, the duration of the phone call, and when it all went down. And so that's why your parents are divorced!
1. "Only way to roll, Jigga and two ladies/I'm too cold, Motorola two way page me"
Artist: Jay-Z
Song: "I Just Wanna Luv U (Give It 2 Me)"
Album: The Dynasty: Roc La Familia
Year: 2000
This song came out in the year 2000, which is about 35 generations ago in technological years. It's a guarantee that there won't be two ladies in the audience at any of Jay's eight Barclays Center shows that know what a Motorola two-way pager is. (For the record, a two-way let your grandfather text a friend, and Motorola was like Apple, but not at all close.) These days, if you wanna get in touch with Jay, you have to wait outside the studio for hours in the rain. Shouts to J.Cole.