Today I listened to "Trap Queen" as a part of my general morning routine, and I began to wonder whether or not the song had the kind of uplifting effect on others as it does on myself. I gathered some willing participants for an empirical experiment, and began to take data. The process is as follows: 1. I text a random friend in my contacts. 2. Ask them to listen to "Trap Queen" that very moment. 3. Ask them to tell me how they felt before and after.
These were the results:
Subject #1: Male, Age 22
Me: "can you do me a favor and listen to trap queen right now"
The subject responded with a video of himself getting lost in the dulcet tones of the song.
Me: "how would you describe the way you feel before and after"
Subject: "Before I listen to trap queen I feel like I'm single. Then I listen to trap queen and remember that I have a girl, so we either need to be cooking food or shopping for her, but together. It's kind of like auto tuned molly."
Subject #2: Female, Age 24
Me: "can you do me a favor and listen to trap queen right now"
Subject: "PUTTING ON MY DRE BEATS."
Me: "how would you describe the way you feel before and after"
Subject: "like i wish somebody would snatch up a rari and buy me a lamb"
Subject #3: Male, 22
Me: "can you do me a favor and listen to trap queen right now"
Subject: "ya ofc"
Subject: "wow"
Subject: "will this ever stop slapping as hard as it does"
Me: "how would you describe the way you feel"
Subject: "i feel very positive and excited about the prospect of hitting the club"
Subject: "and also just generally happier than I was 4 minutes ago"
Subject #4: Male, 23
Me: "can you do me a favor and listen to trap queen right now"
Subject: "Already did twice today"
Subject: "You need me to do it again?"
Subject: "I'm obviously fine with that"
Me: "how would you describe the way you feel before and after"
Subject: "Before: garbage"
Subject: "After: want to teach a wonderful girl how to make a roux. I hold her hand as she holds my oxo silicon whisk and we slowly bring it to its desired thickness. Her thickness is also desirable."
Subject #5: Female, 25
Me: "can you do me a favor and listen to trap queen right now"
Subject: "Why..."
Me: "i'll tell you after"
Subject: "Ok i listened"
Me: "cool, me too lmao how do you feel"
Subject: "...,, high"
Me: "are you high?"
Subject: "Yes"
Me: "would you say that it made you feel more high"
Subject: "Not one bit"
Me: "how would you describe the way you feel before and after"
Subject: "I was high and then the song made me anxious so I had a cigarette"
Subject #6: Male, 24
Me: "can you do me a favor and listen to trap queen right now"
Subject: "Like at this exact moment"
Me: "please"
Me: "and tell me how you feel before and after
Subject: "Kk"
Subject: "Rn im hungover and p lethargic"
Subject: "Ok just finished"
Me: "how do you feel"
Subject: "Like a zillion bucks"
Conclusions: Though we may not have followed the scientific method precisely, we leave with a statistic. 83.3% of our sample group showed marked improvements in their respective Saturdays upon listening to Fetty Wap's "Trap Queen." Try the experiment on yourself and see where your mood is taken.
Alex Russell's day was markedly improved by bothering his friends about Fetty Wap. He's on Twitter @alexrussellglo.
