It is with a heavy heart that I must announce to all of you that the teens are at it again. Their wrath this time stems from a very important topic; it's not world peace, it's not immigration law, it's not even how they feel about Season 7 of Game of Thrones. Yes, you guessed it, they're upset about Zayn Malik's haircut.
The former member of One Direction was spotted alongside family on Instagram this past weekend, and his mother, Trisha, shared a picture of Zayn as the center of attention. Having grown used to him having some serious flow, his sudden baldness was a little jarring, if you're the sort of person who keeps tabs on Zayn's hairdo.
Though some fans have held onto hope he's wearing a bald cap in the picture—because his hair is a living creature they feel must be protected at all costs, I guess—a previous photo on Trisha Malik's IG shows him with a really short haircut, so the baldness is probably legit. This is the sort of investigative journalism they pay you the big bucks for.
As the threat of a crazy North Korean dictator looms over us all, Zayn's fans could only muster enough fear to focus on the nuclear winter that is their fave without hair. Fans cried and moaned all throughout the weekend, mourning the loss of—yes, this is real, I am not making this up—someone's hair.
That better be a bald cap @zaynmalik— Amizo (@AfricanKhaIeesi) September 3, 2017
Zayn,,,,,is bald . Bald . Bald,,is a adjective,,,for zayn ,,, bc ,,,, he is ,,bald. pic.twitter.com/TPeigYxBg2— madison (@wtfckstyles) September 3, 2017
RIP ZAYN LONG HAIR pic.twitter.com/h4MT75O23O— Zayn Squad Brasil (@ZaynSquadBrasil) September 3, 2017
dear zayn malik, why did u need to make yourself bald you had the best hair ever like bitch im crying pic.twitter.com/3oeZ0FXqiL— lila (@amourmaIik) September 3, 2017
@zaynmalik are you actually bald? You look like a boiled egg💀— X (@advilden) September 4, 2017
zayn we need your hair back like this so put some fertilizer or some shit on your head to grow it back ok thanks https://t.co/CXu0Q4HDKg— m (@angvlhes) September 3, 2017
I'm sorry but the old zayn's hair can't come to the phone right now? why? oh, cause it's dEAD! DOESNT EXIST ANYMORE pic.twitter.com/6obugvyhK1— bre (@zrhysand) September 3, 2017
Zayn's fans aren't the only people to lose their shit over their favorite artist chopping off their locks. When the Weeknd got rid of his signature hair prior to the release of Starboy, fans of the Canadian singer damn near went postal over the change in his look, openly pondering whether they even recognized him anymore. Hair, as you can tell, is serious business.
As long as Zayn is healthy—and there's no indication that he's not—there is plenty of time for his hair to grow back. So perhaps we can scale back on the freak-out session a little bit and, you know, do something a little more useful with our lives.