You know, I am realizing that I'm too old, grumpy, and disgruntled to truly appreciate today's dance music culture. Kandi baffles me, I liken gloving at live shows to snitching on yourself, and as someone that started my dive into electronic dance culture in the late '90s, I don't ever recall seeing a hula hooper at a rave when I was a kid, and the concept truly baffles me. On stage, a professional hooper is impressive, and I applaud anyone that's taken the time to master doing anything gracefully that I look like a complete buffoon doing. At a festival, I support whatever safe activity you decide to partake in. But the kids that I don't understand are those that walk into a packed 18+ venue with a hula hoop and hang out in the back corner where people generally chill, try to take a breather, or circumnavigate the audience, and somehow find it absolutely fine to to fuck up the flow rotating their giant plastic orbs. All said, if I see you in a club and you're even half as good as this hooper, I promise with all my heart I will clear space for you to win at life.

Rachael Lust is an Ohio native that recently released a video of her skills, and I've never seen anything like this at all.  Though the first minute features a crazy hand stand and tricks I couldn't pull off if I practiced for the rest of my life, the impatient should feel free to skip a minute in and prepare to pick their jaws up off of the floor.  If you're one of those sad ravers that loves to bump me when I'm on my way outside for a cigarette, Rachael is offering workshops on her website ( so you can get your life together, and we imagine the festival bookings are going to come flying in as this one gets spread around.  Take a peek, and definitely let us know if you've seen anything this impressive.

(And for those who were wondering, she's hooping to "Groove" by Oiki.)