Is HOLIDAY SZN really HOLIDAY SZN before Black Friday? Your favorite retailer might say it is, but you and I know that it truly begins after the tryptophan wears off and you wake up at the ass-crack of 11 p.m. to head over to your favorite mall, big box store, or sneaker outlet to catch the fire deals.
Black Friday, which many store owners say is the day that their accounts went from being "in the red" to going "into the black," is a time to cop a massive big-screen TV for a great price, or grabbing two-for-one bras or slippers or whatever you need to cop your aunt for Christmas at affordable prices. The thing is, some combination of turkey, spiked cider, and aggression has turned your normal, everyday shoppers into absolute fucking animals when Black Friday rolls 'round.
With social media and a need to obtain all of the things at an all-time high, we've seen some pretty disgusting displays of human nature exhibit themselves during this time of year. In an effort to help you, the Complex reader, not mimic the same crimes as those who've come before you, let's examine the worst Black Friday moments of all time.
The Shoplifter Shakedown
We've heard of skirmishes at stores on Black Friday; we rarely see them involving police jacking someone up. In 2011, a man was arrested at a Walmart in Arizona for shoplifting and resisting arrest. According to his grandson, the man was protecting him when he was trying to get a video game during Black Friday. In the ensuing ruckus, the man is said to have tucked the video game under his shirt. Someone spotted it, and alerted the cops, who apprehended the man. His face ended up bloody, which police said was due to him resisting their directives.
That must have been some kind of resisting. Either way, it looks like the lil guy was scarred for life. All for a video game. Did he even get the game?
The Waffle Iron Riot
Want a look at what makes Black Friday one of the worst days of any year? Take a look at this video. Those shrieks? They come from dozens of Walmart shoppers in Little Rock, Arkansas during a $2 waffle iron sale in 2011. A fucking waffle iron. Maybe there was a waffle iron shortage in 2011? Whatever is going on here, this is insanity.
The Convertible Car Catastrophe
For some reason, people like to get into these piles of product, holding onto their items like the children they are copping them for. This Houston Walmart had an odd ordeal over a convertible car. The mayhem breaks down into a situation where there are two cars and three guys; two of the guys definitely have bigger claims to the cars than the third, but you can't tell a determined Black Friday shopper nothing.
The Town East Mall Melee
There's no real word on WHY this brawl hit Mesquite, Texas' Town East Mall during Black Friday 2012, but it had to have been a scary experience for any shoppers caught in the fight. For some reason, it appears that two opposing sides started fighting, which turned into them mostly lobbing furniture and other objects at each other. There are said to have been reports of gunshots being let off, but security cleared that up by saying it was just furniture hitting the floor or walls.
The Porter Ranch Pepper Spray Incident
The use of pepper spray is great to get rid of unwanted advances or to deter someone trying to violate you. At a Walmart in Porter Ranch, California in 2011, one woman reportedly used pepper spray to get rid of a crowd who were preventing her from copping a discounted Xbox 360. The Los Angeles Fire Department Captain called her actions "competitive shopping," but we just call it Black Friday Fuckery.
The Kentucky Target Stand-off
No one likes a line-cutter, and at this Target in Bowling Green, Kentucky in 2012, one guy's actions almost got him a serious ass whupping. From what it looks like, there was an issue with people not going to the end of the line to enter the Target. After one bald man physically removes two women from the line, a man in an orange/brown jacket decides to hop a line of carts to confront the guy. The two women appear to be holding him back on some "don't get involved" shit, but he doesn't care; he highkey cries like a baby for them to let him go before charging at the bald guy.
Sad part? It looks like he got stopped before shit really popped off, so what did he really gain aside from looking like an idiot for eternity?
The Stun Gun Spectacular
This 2013 Black Friday fight at the Franklin Mills Mall in Pennsylvania went from bad to worse when one of the women in the fight pulled out a stun gun, tasing another woman. We're not sure what's worse: the fact that one of the families fought while a small child was in a stroller, or that someone felt this North Philly mall would get so ratchet that they needed to pack a stun gun. According to the local NBC affiliate, this was one of a number of incidents to go down at this mall on Black Friday, with some brawlers getting injured and/or being arrested.
Black Friday Fight Club
A mall in Louisville, Kentucky turned into an IRL Fight Club in 2015 when two Black Friday shoppers squared off for a rowdy crowd to witness. There's no word on what caused the fight, which popped off in the food court, but at some point mall security broke it up. Hopefully this brawl was worth the trouble.
The Walmart Stampede
During Black Friday 2008, a security worker at a Walmart in Long Island, New York was trampled to death while a stampede of shoppers rushed the doors at 5 a.m. While the incident resulted in Walmart instituting tighter security, it's insane that a man had to die for these new implementations. Also, no flat-screen TV is worth someone's life.
The Toys 'R Us Gun Fight
A 2008 Black Friday shopping trip turned deadly when two men shot and killed each other in a Toys 'R Us. Why? It's hard to say. Both men were each with a woman, and it's said that both of the women got into a fight near the checkout area, although it's not clear if they actually had purchases. At some point, their fight turned bloody, prompting each man to draw their weapons. After a pursuit in the store, both men turned up dead from gunshot wounds.
Who the fuck is bringing loaded weapons into a toy store?