5 times getting drunk paid off

Stories you didn’t hear in health class.

Jan 28, 2016
drinking

Image via Creative Commons

drinking

Image via Creative Commons

Most of us learned in middle school health class that drinking leads to poor decisions. But what teachers don't tell you is that sometimes, you'll be grateful for things you did while drinking.

That's why B1gDaddyFrost asked Reddit: "What did you do drunk, that sober you really appreciated?"

The responses are enough to make any health teacher question their curriculum. Read on for some stories of brave, thoughtful, and sometimes heroic acts people performed while drunk: 

1. Scoring a job

Alcohol-induced social media recklessness can literally pay off, according to dainty_flower. 

"Drunk me decided to send a private message via LinkedIn to one of my contacts about a job sober me was very interested in. However, sober me felt we weren't totally qualified or ready for it," they wrote. "Sober me took no actions. Drunk me felt totally qualified, and my confident drunk message got me the interview, which later translated into an offer." 

That's one way to take advantage of your alcohol-induced confidence boost—but hopefully your email is coherent.

2. Performing holiday miracles

Redditor ThePenguin86 was procrastinating gift-wrapping, but a Christmas Eve buzz inspired them to get down to business. 

"Came home sh*t-faced and proceeded to wrap all the presents and put them under the tree so I could sleep in," they wrote. "They were a sight to behold and near impossible to unwrap. I had used tape like a ball of string to encircle the crumpled mass of paper stuffed around each present."

This feat deserves a reward of milk and cookies.

3. Giving to the less fortunate

Kyless's drunkenness inspired an act of charity—toward themselves.  

"Left $20 on top of my desk from my own wallet with a note saying 'For your troubles.' Woke up ecstatic until I realized it was my own $20. Still, it was nice of drunk me," they wrote.

Sometimes we all need a helping hand, even if it's our own. 

4. Arranging breakfast in bed

via GIPHY

LikesToQwerty's drunk self made thoughtful plans for their sober and likely hungover self: "I ordered pizza for the morning. I then fell asleep and was woken up by the pizza delivery guy at 11 a.m. Best breakfast ever."

However, as Heknarf pointed out, this plan can go terribly wrong: "Drunk me ordered a pizza from the one pizza place still open at 3 a.m., for ASAP delivery. He then went to sleep instantly. Woke up 8 hours later to 10 missed calls from a random number, and a soggy pizza on the door step."

Timing is important if you want to pull this one off.

5. Turning your life around

While under the influence, Redditor colinthegreat "signed up for classes and went back to school."

This decision is apparently not uncommon.

"I work for a statewide education group that registers adults for classes," explained justanothersurly. "We got some sign-ups in the 1 a.m. to 3 a.m. hours and we call them the guilty drunk registrations."

While drunken nights can spawn regretful mornings, they can also make us do things we wouldn't normally consider while sober.

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